Avengers Parodies and Headcannons
by CloveRaven4
Summary: Where did Natasha learn to sing? And what if Bucky joined Steve in his little on your left game with Sam? Just a collection of funny one-shots containing Avengers song Parodies and headcannons like it says in the title! All characters used (rated T because I'm paranoid and for language)
1. The Floor is Lava

**Hey guys! This is kind of a story to help with writers block on another story so yeah! I've been wanting to do this for awhile so I hope you guys like this! I present Avengers Parodies!**

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It was a casual chill day at the Avengers tower. Bruce was quietly reading, Tony was fiddling with something in the corner, Thor was eating a pop tart on the couch and watching TV, Bucky, Sam, T'Challa, and Natasha were arguing quietly over whose turn it was in Monopoly, and no one knew where Clint was. Steve stood in the center of the room, enjoying the peace and quiet. Then suddenly Clint popped out of the vents and yelled,

"The floor is lava!" Instantly whipping out a video camera to record the chaos. And chaos there was. Natasha immediately backfliped onto the couch, settling down to watch TV with a bored expression.

"I do not see any lava!" Thor yelled, standing up and looking around wildly. "How am I supposed to participate in this festivity, man with eyes like a hawk?!" He continued shouting while Bruce casually climbed up onto the coffee table, motioning for Thor to join him. He then continued to sip his tea and read his book. Steve stood still in confusion, looking around to see what everyone else was doing and wondering if he should follow.

"Idiots!" Tony called laughing from the corner, where his Iron Man suit was assembling around him. One it was fully assembled he flew up to the vents and dragged Clint out and dropped him on the floor. He took the video camera and resumed recording in Clint's place. Clint shrieked and started scrambling up Steve, taking out his bow. Steve just let it happen because he had no clue what was going on. Clint shot one of his grappling arrows at the opening of the vents and proceeded to swing to safety. Bucky grabbed T'Challa's arm, and threw him onto the ceiling, where he just hung there by his claws, shaking his head at the informality of the situation. Bucky then turned to Steve.

"Steve what the hell are you doing you punk!" Bucky shouted angrily, after realizing that Steve wasn't off the ground. "The floor is fucking lava!" Bucky than jumped, grabbed Steve around the waist and flung them both on the couch next to Natasha. Sam popped his wings open, hovering until Bucky attached a grappling hook to one of Sam's wings and pulled, sending Sam crashing to the ground. Bucky started laughing maniacally, watching Sam struggle to get up.

"You are so dead," Sam growled out, leaping on top of Bucky and beginning to wrestle him. The elevator dinged, and Pepper stepped out. Everyone froze as she started surveying the room. Her eyes found Tony and she smiled, but there was something dangerous in it.

"Tony," she began sweetly. "You're an hour late to the gala, which may I remind you, you're supposed to be hosting." Tony gulped and nervously said,

"Well, you see Pep—," she cut him off.

"Get. Dressed. Now," her tone left no room for nonsense and she gave him an icy glare. She turned sharply and walked away, her heels clicking. Tony immediately flew down and deactivated his suit—which flew back to his workshop— and ran after her. Glaring at the snickering Avengers as he passed.

"Wow," Sam said, whistling. "I've heard of the power of Pepper Potts but I'd never thought it would work on Tony Stark."

"Trust me," Clint replied. "You have no idea the things she can do," he shivered. A haunted look appearing in his eyes.

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 **So what did you think? Was it good? Was it bad? Feel free to PM if you have any requests for songs and Avengers headcannons. Please follow, favorite and review! That's all for now, bye!**

 **xoxo,**

 **-Raven**


	2. Dangerous Woman

**Hey guys! Here's another chapter for you and remember if you have any songs you want me to parody or any Avengers Headcannons you would like me to do feel free to tell me in the reviews!**

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Natasha was bored. Not the 'there's nothing to do bored' but the 'there's nothing I want to do' bored. She sighed from her sprawled position on the carpeted floor.

"Well, I might as well train," she said to herself. "It's what Steve would want me to do." You could never say that you were bored around the tower when Steve was there. He would always hear you with that annoying super soldier hearing of his. "If your bored go train," he would say. So after some time the occupants of the tower had learned to never say you were bored around Steve. She sighed and slowly sat up. She was the only one in the tower because everybody else was on missions, or just doing whatever the hell they wanted to. She stood up and walked to her room, quickly changing into her workout clothes. She made her way down to the training room, setting up a punching bag and began hitting while quietly humming Dangerous Woman by Ariana Grande. Clint had been blasting it around the tower lately just to be annoying.

"Don't need permission,

made my decision,

to test my limits," she sang softly in between punches.

"Cause it's my mission

Clint as my witness

start what I finished.

Don't need no help I'm

takin control of

this tense moment." She moved over to the targets and picked up two guns, cocking them.

"I'm locked and loaded

completely focused

my mind is open." She fired two shots that landed exactly in the center of each target. She grinned in satisfaction, moving to each of the fourteen targets and hitting them dead in the center, singing stronger and more confidently.

"Gimmie all,

that you got,

hand to hand,

no I won't

ever stop boy." Natasha moved over to the hand to hand combat dummies doing a series of roundhouse kicks and practicing her signature 'Widow Thighs of Death' move, as dubbed by Tony.

"Somethin' 'bout killin'

makes me feel like a dangerous woman

somethin' 'bout, somethin' 'bout, somethin' 'bout

spying makes me wanna do things that I shouldn't

somethin' 'bout, somethin' 'bout, somethin' 'bout." She continued her martial arts moves, demolishing every single dummy that there was. She shrugged. Oops she thought. Natasha danced her way over to the parkour course, spinning, twirling, and leaping.

"Nothing to prove I'm

bulletproof and

know what I'm doing

The way I'm movin'

like an assassain

ready to take down." Natasha began flipping and backhand springing around and over various obstacles and bars, not even breaking a sweat.

"I wanna savor,

save it for later

the thrill I get,

as I'm fightin'

cause I'm a spy,

it's only nature

I live for danger." Natasha put her widow bites on her wrist and activated them. They filled with blue light and hummed in her hands. She spun over to an area that was used for her to practice her aim with them. She pranced over to the first target, aimed and shot. She frowned. She was a little off the mark, but she figured that it was only because she had just received the bites a couple weeks ago and hadn't had much time to practice. She shrugged and continued singing.

"Gimme all

that you got,

hand to hand,

no I won't

ever stop boy

somethin' 'bout killin'

makes me feel like a dangerous woman

somethin' 'bout, somethin' 'bout, somethin' 'bout

spying makes me wanna do things that I shouldn't

somethin' 'bout, somethin' 'bout, somethin' 'bout." Natasha spun from target to target doing intricate dance moves in between.

"All girls want to be like me

badass Black Widows like me

you'll know when I shoot you in the side

somethin' 'bout, somethin' 'bout

all girls want to be like me

badass Black Widows like me

you'll know when I shoot you in the side

somethin' 'bout, somethin' 'bout." She waltzed over to the sparring mat and continued dancing as she belted out the chorus.

"Somethin' 'bout killin makes me feel like a dangerous woman

somethin' 'bout, somethin' 'bout, somethin' 'bout

spying makes me wanna do things that I shouldn't

somethin' 'bout, somethin' 'bout, somethin' 'bout

all girls wanna be like me

badass Black Widows like me

you'll know when I shoot you in the side

somethin' 'bout, somethin' 'bout

all girls wanna be like me

badass Black Widows like me

you'll know when I shoot you in the side

somethin' 'bout, somethin' 'bout," Natasha began doing a complicated gymnastics routine on the sparring mat. Complete with midair flips, spirals, and back handsprings.

"Yeah, there's somethin' 'bout killin' boy

yeah, there's somethin' 'bout killin' boy

yeah, there's somethin' 'bout killin' boy

somethin' 'bout, somethin' 'bout, somethin' 'bout

yeah, there's somethin' 'bout killin' boy

yeah, there's somethin' 'bout killin' boy

yeah, there's somethin' 'bout killin' boy." She did three back handsprings in a row.

"Somethin' 'bout, somethin' 'bout, somethin' 'bout," She flipped through the air and stuck the landing.

"Killin." Natasha smiled. That was actually fun. She packed up her stuff and walked out the door. Up in the rafters on the ceiling a figure perched in the shadows, phone in hand.

"This is going to get so many hits." The figure laughed as they posted the video on YouTube. Minutes later an angry shout was heard from the direction Of Natasha's room where she had gone to check her computer for updates.

"CLINT!"

"Uh-oh," Clint mumbled, running off to hide from Natasha's wrath.

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 **I hope you enjoyed! The song is Dangerous Woman by Ariana Grande. These lyrics don't really belong to me because I used a lot of the original lyrics. Feel free to PM if you have any requests for songs and Avengers headcannons. Please follow, favorite and review! That's all for now, bye!**

 **xoxo,**

 **-Raven**


	3. It's On Again

**Hey people's! I'm back! This chapter was requested by a guest thank you for this request! It was so fun to write! And I also love homecoming! It was so good! Also thank you to Bellacatz27 for favoriting this story and JaliceJelsa4eva for following and favoriting this story! Black Panther comes out in less than a month! Who's excited!? I know I am! The song that I'm using is It's On Again by Alicia Keys ft. Kendrick Lamar. So enough talk, on with the story! (I know I use a lot of exclamation points, don't judge!) (also I know that after Age of Ultron the Avengers went to a new compound, but I like using the tower so deal wit dat)**

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Ultron had returned. The Avengers didn't know how, but he had. They were just chilling in their tower, happy for some peace and quiet with Vison gone (they were always having to explain things to him which is why it was so loud) when suddenly a familiar, chilling, metallic voice came floating through the room.

"Why so lazy all of a sudden?" The voice said with a laugh. The Avengers all stood up in shock, looking around wildly.

"Ultron," Bruce breathed.

"In the flesh," Ultron said, mimicking their first encounter. "What happened to the Avengers that were bent on saving the world," he questioned mockingly. "I guess the world will never know." Suddenly knockout has started filtering through the vents. The world started spinning and the last thing anyone heard was Ultron's laughter, then everything went black

When the Avengers came to, they realized that they were all imprisioned in glass cells with each person having a different thing used to restrict their powers. Thor, Bruce, and Steve all had knock out gas flowing steadily into their cells so that they couldn't turn into the Hulk or summon Mjolnir or use their super soldier strength. Wanda was in a straight jacket with her hands covered in rubber to keep them in fists. Tony, Clint, Natasha, and Sam were in orange prinsoner jumpsuits to make sure that they didn't have any gadgets on them. Their cells were surrounded by hundreds of Ultron sentries to make sure that they didn't escape. Then a door opened, and there stood Ultron. He had a new and even better body that had a similar design to the one he had when the Avengers had fought him.

"Look at you," he said chuckling. "So easily defeated, you've gotten weak. Make sure to smile for the cameras!" He then turned on a camera and broadcasted the footage to all the billboard screens in New York. "Look at your Avengers now." Ultron's voice boomed out, showing the Avengers in their cages. Everyone turned to look at the screens in fear, thinking that all hope was lost. "The sworn protectors of the world, squished like flies," Ultron continued. "Who's going to protect the world n—," he stopped mid sentence as a voice called out,

"I will!" Said a figure standing in the shadows. The crowd watching could just make out a red and blue suit with a web pattern over it with a spider in the center.

"Who are you?" Ultron growled out, irritated to be interrupted.

"I'm your friendly neighborhood Spiderman!" The figure said pleasantly.

"Peter don't! It's to dangerous!" Tony shouted.

"It's okay Mr. Stark!" Peter replied excitedly, "I got this." He swung down on a web from his perch and landed in a heroic pose. He then lifted his head, and burst into song.

" _I am a freedom fighter, the name that I wrote_

 _And even through disaster, eye of the spider for hope_

 _I'm trying to be a hero, but it's hard to make yourself known_

 _And even when I'm tired, help is the only word I know."_ The Avengers that were awake looked at each other in question.

"Seriously Peter?" Tony sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. The crowd stared at the screens in confusion. Wondering why there was a little kid in footie pajamas singing while fighting. **(He's wearing the spider suit that he wore in Civil War, not the Iron Spider one)**

"Get him!" Ultron yelled angrily. Ultron sentries charged at Peter.

"This was a bad idea," he gulped before remembering why he came. "No, I've got to prove to Mr. Stark that I can do this!" He ran at the Ultron sentries, pulling two together and smashing them, then wrapping up another one in web and flinging it to side while singing.

" _And Ultron is takin' over_

 _And New York gets exposure_

 _And the Avengers have been captured_

 _And it seems like all is lost_

 _When it seems your faith has broken_

 _By the second, losin' focus_

 _Ain't no way to escape, escape, escape, escape_

 _Unless I_

 _I bet you wonder how I save the world_

 _The world_

 _I bet you wonder how I save the world_

 _The world."_

The crowd watched the screens in awe as the young boy continued to defeat sentry after sentry without a pause in his song.

" _I simply say I'm Spiderman, I'm Spiderman, woah_

 _I don't stop 'cause I'm Spiderman, I'm Spiderman, woah,"_ he sang. He was so busy fighting one of the robots that he didn't see another one of the robots creep up behind him. He turned around right as the robot grabbed his neck and slammed him against the wall. The crowd gasped in horror as Peter struggled to get free while another robot pointed a gun at his head. He started singing again, trying to draw strength from the words.

" _I am an unknown hero, tryin' to fight more battles_

 _Most times I'm invisible, people don't even see my shadow_

 _In the midst of all this darkness, I try to be a hero_

 _Ain't no room for the armatures, only the real hero's."_ He let his wanting to be a hero and his determination to prove himself give him strength and he managed to wriggle out from the robots grip and swing up to the ceiling. Watching the robots below him struggle to find him. He then dropped down from the roof onto the two robots, crushing them.

" _And Ultron is takin' over_

 _And New York gets exposure_

 _And the Avengers have been captured_

 _And it seems like all is lost_

 _When it seems your faith has broken_

 _By the second, losin' focus_

 _Ain't no way to escape, escape, escape, escape_

 _Unless I_

 _I bet you wonder how I save the world_

 _The world_

 _I bet you wonder how I save the world_

 _The world."_ Peter grinned under his mask as he realized that the crowd and the Avengers that were awake were chanting with him. He could see it on the screen that showed the people's reactions to Ultron's broadcast. He laughed as he realized that the person singing really loud and off key was Tony. Peter pointed at the camera and let the people sing,

" _He simply says he's Spiderman, he's Spiderman, woah_

 _He doesn't stop 'cause he's Spiderman, he's Spiderman, woah."_ After he defeated most of the sentries, he moved over to the Avengers cages.

" _The work don't stop, 'cause the villains don't stop_

 _And every hero here trying to get on top_

 _Everybody from Queens down to New York_

 _Gotta work real hard to be a hero, hero."_ He sang as he disabled the glass cells and the knockout gas.

" _Huh, so you think your tough?_

 _Gotta fight hard, give it all you got_

 _You can win, or you can win not_

 _You hear that a lot bein' a hero, hero."_ He cut open Wanda's straightjacket and the rubber on her hands. He tossed Hawkeye his bow, arrows, and suit, which Clint slipped on over his jumpsuit. Natasha did the same thing with her catsuit, activating her widow bites. He also tossed Sam his Falcon wings and to Tony, he tossed him the gadget that made the Iron Man suit assemble around him. Thor woke up and summoned Mjolnir and Bruce hulked out while Steve grabbed his shield. The crowd cheered wildly at seeing their fully assembled Avengers ready to finish off Ultron. They spotted him trying to run to a Quinjet. They all ran after him singing,

" _How he saves the world, the world_

 _I bet we wonder how he saves the world_

 _I simply say I'm Spiderman, I'm Spiderman, woah."_ Peter sang as the Avengers started to surround Ultron while he climbed up the wall til he was hanging above them.

" _I don't stop 'cause I'm Spiderman, I'm Spiderman."_ He shot down a thread of webbing, wrapping Ultron in it jast as the Avengers were about to attack. He swung down from the ceiling and sang the final note.

" _Woah!"_

 _"_ Great job Peter!" Tony said running to him and hugging him.

"Yeah nice job!" Steve said with a smile.

"Awesome kid!" Clint commented.

"Soooo...," Tony said, raising his eyebrow at Steve. Steve sighed, then nodded. "Yay!" Tony squealed.

"What is it?" Peter asked. Tony turned to him with a smile.

"Welcome to the Avengers, Pete!"

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 **So guest who requested this chapter, was this what you had in mind? Did I do it right, or did I do it completely wrong? The song if It's On Again by Alicia Keys ft. Kendrick Lamar. The lyrics belong to me and if you want to use them, you can use them but you have to give me credit! Please let me know if you thought it was good in the reviews! And remember feel free to request a song that a should parody with a scenario or you can request an Avengers headcannon to use ! Thank you so much for reading! And remember to follow, favorite, and review!**

 **Xoxo,**

 **-Raven**


	4. On Your Left!

**Hey guys! I'm back! I know it's only been like six hours but I am bored so I thought I would post another chapter! A lot of you guys liked my last chapter with Peter Parker so I am going to do another one with this soon but I just had to do this chapter because it is my favorite headcannon of all time, well it's sort of like three headcannons combined into one but whatevs! Thank you so much to SaltyCandy for following and favoriting this story! If you have any requests for Parodies or Avengers headcannons please let me know! I know that I have said that a lot, but I really love hearing from you guys, and writing the things that you request. So on that note, on to the chapter!**

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Sam Wilson was enjoying life. Calmly jogging with the wind caressing his cheek and the sun shining on his back. He was alone and it was perfect. Nothing could ruin this day.

"On your left!" A voice called out. _Well I stand corrected_ , he thought to himself.

"Seriously!" Sam yelled watching as Captain America zoomed past him. "That asshole," he muttered. Not even five minutes later he heard footsteps behind him. "Don't you dare say i—" He was interrupted by the familiar call of,

"On your left!"

"OH COME ON!" Sam tried to run faster but the Captain was already way ahead. Sam slowed, panting hard. He made a point of ignoring Steve for the rest of the day.

The next day Sam got up super early in order to jog in peace. He did two laps then looked around. _No sign of Steve,_ he thought. _Good_ , _I might finally be able to jog in peace._ He had just done his forth lap and was so focused on jogging that he didn't hear two sets of footsteps.

"On your left!" A familiar voice shouted.

"FUCK OFF STEVE!" Sam yelled angrily.

"LANGUAAAAGE!" The Captain yelled over his shoulder. Sam started grumbling about stupid super soldiers when a different voice called out,

"On your right!" Sam's eyes widened and he tripped over his own feet, missing who had gone by.

"What?!" He said in shock. He didn't realize till the second time around who the voice was.

"On your left!" Steve shouted, followed closely by an,

"On your right!" Realizing who it was Sam shouted,

"OH YOU'VE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME BARNES! NOT YOU TOO! Bucky and Steve both slowed down their pace to match with Sam's; surrounding him on either side.

"You're right, this is fun Steve!" Bucky called out. Sam glared at them both.

"C'mon Sam cheer up!" Steve said with a grin.

"Man, shut up!" Sam whined.

"Aaaaaand our last runner finally crosses the finish line!" Bucky said, pretending to hold a megaphone with his metal arm. "You may be last in the race, but your the champion in our hearts!"

"Yay!" Steve said, throwing some confetti in the air. They had obviously planned this.

"Seriously, fuck you guys," Sam grumbled. "Can't even have a peaceful jog around here.

"So tell us Sam Wilson," Steve said while Bucky pulled out a video camera, and Steve pulled out a fake microphone. "How does it feel to be beaten by two ninety five year-olds?" He questioned, looking serious, while Bucky filmed the whole thing.

"OH MY GOD!" Sam shouted, throwing his hands up in the air. He promptly turned around, flipped the bird at both of them, then started to jog off in the opposite direction.

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Steve and Bucky had been waiting for Sam to show up for an hour, but he still wasn't there doing his jog yet.

"Maybe he's mad at us?" Steve said worriedly. "Maybe we took it a little to far, we were just joking!" Steve continued to fret, not wanting to lose his friendship with Sam.

"Steve shut up for one second and listen," Bucky commanded, ears alert. Steve stoped talking and stood still. They heard a soft whirring noise, like a machine coming straight at them. They both ducked as Sam, in full Falcon gear swooped overhead

"On your above assholes!" He called, grinning. Steve and Bucky crossed their arms in annoyance as Sam started writing something in the sky.

"S...U...C...," Steve started to spell out, then paused. "Now that's just rude!" In the distance they could hear Falcon laughing.

"Stevie what are we gonna do?" Bucky said, turning towards Steve.

"I've got something in mind," Steve replied, grinning eagerly, as he started to walk off with Bucky quickly following behind.

Falcon laughed as he soared through the clouds, remembering Steve and Bucky's faces.

"It's nice up here," he commented to himself. "Not having to worry about—,"

"On your left!" Steve called out whizzing by on Iron Man's back.

"NOT YOU AS WELL!" Sam shouted, to Iron Man's retreating form. Iron Man waved over his shoulder, smirking underneath his helmet. Sam thought that it was over when a figure whizzed by shouting,

"On your right!" Sam growled. It was Barnes. On Thor. The fucking God of Thunder had joined this little game.

"AUUUUUUUGGGGG!" Sam yelled, angrily flying away. The people in front of him burst into laughter. Oh well, Sam could try another day

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 **Ok I am ashamed to admit it but I had more fun writing this than I probably should have. The first part was actually a mix up of headcannons but the last little section, that was all me. I didn't really want to end the story where it was so I just put some more stuff in. I hope you thought this was funny! I know I did! But please let me know if you want me to parody a song or if you have a headcannon that you want me to use, I really love hearing what you guys thought of the story so please remember to follow, favorite, and review!**

 **xoxo,**

 **-Raven**


	5. Avengers Discount

**Hey peeps! I'm back! Here's a new chapter for ya! And to a guest reviewer I will definitely do your idea in the next parody chapter! So... I don't have anything else to say so yeah, on with the story!**

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It had been a long day for Clint Barton. He had just come back from a mission and was exhausted. _What better way to end the day than with some coffee from my favorite place?_ He thought as he walked into Starbucks. He ordered his drink and stood by the cash register.

"That will be $4.57, sir." The barista said smiling. Clint reached for his wallet and opened it. _Shit_ , _I'm one dollar short._ He glanced at his Avengers ID card. _I_ _wonder_..., he slapped his ID down onto the counter.

"How much will it be with my Avengers discount?" He asked smiling.

"Avengers discount?" The barista asked, looking surprised.

"You know, saving the world and stuff, risking my life on a daily basis... an Avenger." Clint took of his shades, striking a pose, as if holding a bow and arrow.

"Oh my god!" The barista said, her eyes widening. "Your Hawkeye!"

"The one and only!" he replied, winking.

"Wow! Um... okay! I'll go ask my manager!" She said smiling from excitement. She grabbed his ID and went off to the back room. Clint smirked to himself. The barista returned a minute later with the manager.

"It is an honor to serve you, Mr. Hawkeye," the manager said smiling, shaking his hand.

"That will be $2 sir," the barista handed him back his ID. Clint collected his coffee and turned to leave when the barista called, "Wait!" He turned around to face her. "Thank you for saving the world," she continued, smiling shyly.

"Just doing my job," Clint replied, smiling back.

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As Clint left Starbucks he thought about where else he could use his Avengers ID. He saw a McDonald's across the street and grinned wildly. Perfect. He ran across the street, and burst into the restaurant. He frowned when he saw the long line, but continued his path towards the cash register.

"Sorry, excuse me," he said, walking past the people in line, flashing his ID at them. "Official Avenger coming through, doin' hero business, no, no autographs, sorry." He said while moving past people. He passed an old lady. "Please step aside ma'am, I am a Avenger, that means I work with Captain America, yes I do, good ol' Cap, why yes he does smell like freedom and apple pie." When he finally reached the cash register, he held up his card. "Yes, I'd like to use my Avengers discount..." he started, showing his ID

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 _What a good day_ , he thought, sipping his coffee and eating his cheeseburger.

"I probably should return to the tower," he said to himself, starting his car and pulling out of the parking lot. He was halfway there when he heard the sound of sirens.

"Uh-oh," he checked his speedometer and found that he had been speeding. He pulled his car over to the side of the road, and when the officer came to his window he flashed his ID card. "It's alright," he said confidently. "I'm an _AVENGER_ ," he emphasized. "That means I save the world, so your welcome." The officer started to write his ticket and he frowned. "Look at my _AVENGERS_ ID card." He waved it around in the mans face. The officer handed him the ticket.

"Have a nice day, Avenger," the he said, walking away. Clint growled.

"Well that sucked."

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Later that week Natasha and Steve went to Starbucks to get coffee. At the cash register the barista said to Steve,

"And do you have your Avengers ID for the discount, Captain Rogers?" Steve looked at her confused.

"There is no Av—," Nat elbowed him in the gut and slammed her ID down on the counter. She glared at Steve.

"Yes, we both need the discount," she said quickly before Steve could finish. Steve looked at her like she was crazy.

 _Remind me to thank Clint later_ , she thought smirking. _Because this has him written all over it._

 **. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .**

 **I love this headcannon so much! Please tell me if you have any headcannons or songs you would like to Parody. Until then,**

 **xoxo,**

 **-Raven**


	6. Girl Scout Cookies

**I'm baaaaaaaack! I know, I know it only been like 6 hours or something, but I'm working on the 7th chapter of this and it's complicated and will take a while to write so I'm giving you this to hold you out for a while! And the next chapter will be a parody so I'm doing another headcannon also because I have more headcannons than parodies so I'm trying to get more of those out! So... yeah! Roll chapter!**

Steve and Bucky were walking down the street, chatting about old times and lost memories. Bucky had gotten much better and Steve was ecstatic. They continued walking when they saw a sign.

"Girl Scout Cookies For Sale," Steve read out loud.

"Oh I remember those!" Bucky practically shouted. "They stopped selling them when butter, sugar, etc. got rationed!" He exclaimed. "Steve can we get some!" Bucky pleaded, pulling on Steve's arm.

"No, we don't need them so therefore we should let other people have them," Steve said, being his good old, patriotic self. "Besides, we have cookies at the tower."

"But we don't have these!" Bucky wined. He stuck out his lip and tilted his head, "pleeeeeeeese!"

"Fine," Steve sighed, giving up. "We'll get some."

"Yay!" Bucky cheered, dragging him over towards the direction of the table. They walked up to a table with a bunch of star-struck seven year-olds. "They still have these!?" Bucky questioned, grabbing a box of thin mints. "They were called chocolate mints back in our day." Steve laughed at Bucky using the phrase 'back in our day'. "We'll take forty boxes!" Bucky cried triumphantly before Steve could decide how much they were going to get. Steve blew out a long breath.

"Fine," he said pulling out his wallet. "How much will that be?"

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Bucky had ran ahead and bought a wagon from a store, and when he came back they loaded the cookies onto the wagon and started to wheel it towards the tower, Steve glaring at Bucky the whole time. When they got back to the tower Steve gave Bucky a lecture on how they were going to ration the cookies and not eat them right away. Bucky frowned throughout the whole thing. So when Steve started to put the boxes in the fridge and the pantry, Bucky secretly stole some boxes of cookies and started hiding them around the tower so he can gorge himself when ever he wants. As the week went on Bucky would leave for awhile and come back with chocolate stuck in the grooves of his metal arm. But there wouldn't be any cookies missing from the pantry or fridge. He slowly started to realize what was going on. The next time Bucky disappeared, Steve tried to follow him, but lost him eventually. Scowling with frustration he started to search all over the tower.

"Seriously Buck," he muttered while crawling through the dirty, and dusty attic. "You could have just asked." But Steve knew that if Bucky had asked, he would have said no. Steve kept searching and searching, but could not for the life of him find where he was hiding the boxes.

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One day Clint had decided to venture farther into the vents in the tower than before. He was crawling through the unexplored territory when he came across dozens of boxes of thin mints, both empty and full.

"WHAT THE FUCK ARE ALL THESE THIN MINTS DOING UP HERE!" Steve heard Clint exclaim. "HAVE YOU GUYS BEEN HOLDING OUT ON ME?! HOW COULD YOU!" This statement was followed by the sound of someone with an obviously metal appendage flying into the vents at top speed. Steve stifled a laugh as he heard Barton's undignified scream, as he came face to face with a pissed off Winter Soldier.

 **Lol I love this headcannon so much! Feel free to request any songs of headcannons or whatever. I know I've said that a lot but I really love doing things guys request! Anyways the next chapter will come soon (I hope) and I'm really glad that you guys are enjoying this story! Remember to follow, favorite, and review!**

 **xoxo,**

 **-Raven**


	7. Poor Unfortunate Souls

**Heyo! I have a question for you guys, do you think that I should do a countdown? Like one week before Black Panther I will post a new chapter every day so that the last chapter is on the day that it comes out, let me know in the reviews if I should do this! So this is the big chapter that I have been working on for some time, and if it doesn't seem like that because of the quality of the writing then I'm sorry because I really have been working on this chapter since I first started this story. So I really hope you enjoy this chapter because I worked really hard on it and as always, requests for parodies or headcannons are welcome! Also this takes place during Avengers Age of Ultron, during the scene on the boat in Africa, but I put my own little twist on it so most of the events didn't actually happen during the movie, but this is an AU so deal wit dat! (I say that a lot I'm sorry) also this is a really long authors note, I just had a lot to say!**

 **Thank you to Eva100 for following and favoriting this story! Now, on to the big tamale, the big cheese, the big nacho, the icing on the cake, the boss chapter! THE CREAM OF THE CROP BECAUSE THE CREAM OF THE CROP ALWAYS RISES TO THE TOP AND IF THE CREAM OF THE CROP IS AT THE TOP… IT'S THE CREAM OF THE CROP(Idk what that was all about, I'm random sometimes) but I hope you like this chapter! Oh and by the way I don't own the Avengers, if I did Infinity War would come out in 5 days because ITS ALREADY FINISHED FILMING AND THEIR MAKING US WAIT ANOTHER 4 MONTHS! *takes a deep breath* Sorry I kind of got carried away**

"Aww junior, you're going to break your old mans heart." Iron Man said, landing on the opposite side of the bridge that Ultron and the twins were on with a loud clang. Thor and Captain America came up behind him.

"If I have to," Ultron replied coldly in his metallic voice. Natasha and Clint crept around corners, waiting for the signal.

"No one has to break anything." Thor said, in his British-like voice.

"Clearly you've never made an omelette," Ultron quipped.

"He beat me by one second!" Iron Man grumbled, glancing at Thor.

Thor looked back at him, puzzled.

"Ah, this is funny, Mr. Stark." Pietro said in his accented voice, walking up to stand beside Ultron."It's what, comfortable? Like old times?" He continued, glancing at a rack of missiles below the bridge.

"This was never my life," Iron Man whispered looking down.

"You two can still walk away from this," Captain America sympathized, stepping up closer to Tony.

"Oh, we will." Wanda said with a fake pouty face. But she was secretly thinking about what he had said.

"I know you've suffered." The Captain continued.

"Uuuuugh! Captain America." Ultron groaned, shaking his head mockingly. "God's righteous man, pretending you could live without a war." Steve's jaw hardened. "I can't physically throw up in my mouth, but—,"

"If you believe in peace, then let us keep it." Thor interrupted.

"I think your confusing peace with quiet," Ultron replied, stepping forward, his metal limbs whirring with each step.

"Yuh-huh. What's the Vibranium for?" Tony asked, analyzing the metal with the technology in his suit.

"I'm glad you asked that, because I wanted to take this time to explain my evil plan!" Ultron said raising his arm. But before he could do anything he heard a shout.

"Wait!" Wanda yelled, running to stand in between Ultron and Tony. Pietro gave her a quizzical look. She shook her head, signaling him not to ask.

"Wanda what are you doing!" Ultron growled. She ignored him and stared straight at Steve.

"You want to why we can't just walk away?" She questioned. Steve raised his eyebrows in surprise. Wanda let out a deep breath. She knew she had to do this to disarm the Avengers to make them easier to do her mind tricks and defeat them, and she knew that this was the only was to do it. She was nervous because she hadn't done this since she was a child, when her parents were still alive and she hadn't done it since then. She took a deep breath in, turned to smile quickly at her brother (who was looking at her confused) squeezed her eyes shut and tentatively sang.

" _I admit that in the past I was average_

 _But now they only call me, well, a witch_

 _But but back in my younger days_

 _I had a tragic past in may ways_

 _Parents died, signed with Hydra, now I'm bewitched_

 _Classic villain story? Yes."_ She paused to see what everyone's reactions were. The Avengers, puzzled and shocked. Ultron the same, with Pietro in the middle. Happy that his sister had taken up her hobby again, but confused at what her intent was. Wanda had chosen this song because it had been her favorite as a child, and because she felt that it fit with what her plan was to do. She looked towards Pietro and discreetly tilted her head in the direction she knew Natasha was hiding. He caught on immediately, using the twin telepathy. He nodded his head and started to slowly back out of the area. The Avengers weren't paying attention to his departure because they were all still shocked about Wanda singing. She continued, giving her brother some more time.

 _"And fortunately I know a little magic,"_ she continued waving one hand in the air and watching a scarlet design appeared, before exploding into little bits of light, sprinkling down like snow.

" _It's a talent that I recently posses_

 _And her lately please don't laugh_

 _I use it on behalf_

 _Of showing the fears to the lonely and depressed_

 _(Avengers),"_ she mouthed the last part to Pietro, winking. She grinned evilly as she saw the expressions on the Avengers faces when the comprehended what her last line had said. They realized what was going on and immediately scrambled into action. Ultron, understanding that she needed a little more time quickly shot up in the air with his robot minions to take on Thor and the other Avengers.

 _"Poor unfortunate Avengers_

 _Their fears, so deep."_ She sang as she walked over to where her brother was grappling with the Black Widow. While she was distracted, Wanda crept up behind her and with her fingers glowing red, she flicked her hand sent a small blast of scarlet magic at Natasha. Nataha's eyes turned red for a millisecond then returned to her natural color as her eyes glazed over. She gestured towards Natasha who was stumbling around.

" _This one's fear is of her past_

 _This one's is that his friends will die_." She sang, waving towards the direction of Tony and referring to his fear that she had seen earlier.

" _And did I make them see it?_ She grinned at Pietro, standing up and going to see who else she could play some mind games with.

" _Yes indeed_!" She called back to Pietro over her shoulder.

 _"Those poor unfortunate Avengers_

 _So sad, so true_

 _They run away screaming_

 _'Don't show us our fears Wanda please!'_

 _And do I listen?_

 _No I don't!_ " She continued softly to herself. Pausing when she saw Clint alone. She slowly made her way towards him. As her fingers began to glow red, he suddenly turned around and slapped an electric arrow onto her forehead. She stood paralyzed.

"I've done the whole mind control thing, not a fan." Wanda faintly heard Clint growl. Suddenly she was swept of her feet as Pietro sped and and scooped her up. He knocked Clint down and sped away. He set her down outside of the boat and pulled the arrow off of her head. She lay there, gasping.

"Ah, it hurts," she gasped out.

"I'm gonna kill him." Pietro said. "I be right back."

"No, I'm over it," she said standing up shakily. "I've got to finish what I started." She started to walk confidently back to the boat, balance renewed by her desire for revenge against the Avengers. She spotted Clint running towards her and sang,

" _Now it's happened once or twice_

 _that someone stopped me with their device_

 _And I'm afraid I've had to run them into the wall_ ," she sent a blast of magic Clint's way and it slammed him into the wall. She looked into his mind and saw that he was slipping into unconsciousness. Good, she thought smirking as Pietro appeared next to her. "Go round up the rest of the Avengers." Wanda told him. "Make sure that they aren't separated." He nodded before speeding off.

" _Yes I've had the odd restraint_

 _Although they have been faint_

 _From those poor unfortunate Avengers!"_ She picked up a heavy steel box with her magic and flung it towards Captain America, who was heading towards her. The box slammed into him, and he fell back. As he lay there dazed, she flicked a bit of magic and watched his eyes glaze over as he saw his fear. She started walking over to where the main battle was happening between Ultron, Pietro and the Ultron sentries against the remaining Avengers, Thor and Stark. She stood there, observing how to beat get to Thor when suddenly Stark's fist came out of nowhere and connected with the side of Pietro's head and he crumpled to the ground. Even though Wanda knew that he was just unconscious it still made her (no pun intended) stark mad. Her eyes blazing with hatred and rage, she allowed her power to take over. Her eyes and hands glowed red and a scarlet aura surrounded her, whipping around her hair and making her levitate an inch or two. Stark and Thor were too busy fighting Ultron to notice. When they realized that Ultron had started backing away, they realized that something was up. They slowly turned towards the direction that Ultron was starting at And they went pale with fright.

 _"Come on you poor unfortunate Avengers!" She boomed._

 _"Go ahead, try and fight me!_

 _I'm a very pleasant women_

 _But only if you're on my side_

 _If won't Cast much_

 _Just your sanity!"_ She began hurling objects at them with her magic. They ducked and dodged, and in the confusion Wanda snuck up behind Thor and a strand of magic went towards his head. His eyes glazed over and he started to stumble. One more to go, she thought grinning evilly, enhancing the creepy look that she already had. She turned towards Stark, about to unleash her fury when she saw Pietro stir out of the corner of her eye. The red glow around her immediately disappeared as she rushed over to him. "Pietro! Are you alright?" She asked frantically falling onto her knees beside him.

"Never better," he replied smirking. "Who's left?"

"Just Stark," she answered. Her twin immediately grinned.

"Let's get him!" He said. Wanda helped him stand up, but he was off immediately after that.

"Go get the rest of the Avengers and bring them here," she told Pietro. "I have a plan." She watched as Pietro raced of, then a minute later he had all the Avengers in front of her, even Stark. She snapped and her fear hallucinations were turned off. They looked around wide eyed, but upon seeing her they growled. She relished their fury found herself sing the next few lines.

" _You poor unfortunate Avengers!_

 _It's sad, but true_

 _If you want to try and beat me you'll have to face your fears_

 _Take a gulp and take a breath_

 _Go ahead and reach your goal!"_ They started towards her, but seeing their fears had made a bit shaky so they were slow. Wanda leaned back and whispered to Ultron and Pietro who were behind her.

" _Pietro, Ultron now I've got 'em boys!_

 _This Maximoff's out of danger!_ " She sent out a blast of magic that knocked the wobbling Avengers down, they didn't bother to get up, each thinking about their hallucination. As she belted the last and final line, she rose up into the air. Fueled by her scarlet powers, her hair whipping around her face and her eyes glittering a dangerous red.

" _From those poor. Unfortunate! AAAVENGEEEERS_!" She cackled, an insane smile appearing on her face. She then blasted out of the roof. Ultron and Pietro stood there, amazed at how Wanda had taken out the earth's mightiest hero's almost singlehandedly.

"Well then… I guess we're done here," he said awkwardly speeding off. Ultron sighed, and propelled himself upwards, through the hole made by Wanda in the roof.

 **So how was it! I've been writing this for so long so please let me know if it was good! Also please let me know in the reviews if I should do a Black Panther countdown the week before! Thank you so much for reading! You guys are the best! Please remember to follow, favorite, and review! Until next time!**

 **Xoxo,**

 **-Raven**


	8. Avengers Texts Part 1

**Hey! I'm back! I know this isn't really a headcannon but I consider it one because I do what I want! And because I just really wanted to do this :) this is just different texting conversations that the Avengers have! If you like this chapter, let me know in the reviews if I should do a part 2! Also remember to let me know in the reviews if I should do a Black Panther chapter countdown! Thank you to carlyk258 and KittyPetrov cor following this story! I think that's all I I have to say… so… next chapter comin' right up!**

 **Thor:** MAN OF IRON, I HAVE TAKEN POSSESSION OF WHAT YOU MIDGUARDIANS REFER TO AS; THE CELLULAR DEVICE. IT IS MOST EXCITING!

 **Tony:** Oh my god, Thor, you sound like Steve when he first got his phone. How'd you even get this number?

 **Thor:** THE ONE NAMED PEPPER GAVE IT TO ME. THE PATRIOTIC ONE HAS THE DEVICE AS WELL? I MUST ADD HIM TO THE LIST OF ASSOCIATES.

 **Tony:** Yeah Meatswing, Rodgers has one to. Everyone has one...

 **Thor:** MAN OF IRON, WE MUST PUT THIS CONVERSATION AT HALT. FOR THE GREEN ANGRY ONE HAS SHOWN ME SOMETHING MOST EXCITING.

 **Thor:** WHEN USED PROPERLY, DIFFERENT SYMBOLS OF YOUR WORLDS ENGLISH ALPHABET CAN FORM THE LIKELIHOOD OF FACES

 **Thor:** :) BEHOLD. I AM SMILING.

 **Tony:** Yeah. Good to know, thanks.

 **Thor:** :)

 **Tony:** I get it Thor.

 **Thor:** :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :)

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 **Thor:** WHY DID NONE OF YOU TELL ME THAT YOUR PLANET HAS FENDED OFF ALIENS BEFORE THE CHITARI INVASION? YOU ARE A MIGHTY RACE INDEED!

 **Tony:** What are you talking about?

 **Thor:** I VEIWED YOUR "INDEPENDENCE DAY" HISTORICAL RECORDS ABOUT THIS PLANET BEING SAVED BY YOUR CHAMPION WILL SMITH IN 1996.

 **Steve:** I was still in the ice back then. I hadn't heard of that. Wow. —Steve

 **Tony:** Steve, you don't have to put your name at the end of your message.

 **Steve:** It's just so you guys know who I am.

 **Tony:** We can see that because you're in our— you know what never mind. Continue Thor.

 **Thor:** THIS WILL SMITH IS A MAN THAT HAS ACCOMPLISHED MANY GREAT FEATS. WE SHOULD WELCOME HIM TO JOIN US AS AN AVENGER!

 **Steve:** If he's as good as you say then I'd support that.

 **Tony:** No, no you guys...

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 **Thor:** FRIEND STARK, ARE YOU GROWN?

 **Tony:** Yes? I think so. What does that even mean?

 **Thor:** A SINISTER MAGIC HAS BEFALLEN OUR COMRADES. THEY HAVE BEEN TURNED INTO LITTLE ONES! I WILL BRING THEM TO YOU. WE MUST FIND A CURE.

 **Tony:** No, Thor, those are just kids in costumes! It's Halloween, a festival where children dress up as different people. Wait, was no one dressed as me?

 **Thor:** THAT IS A RELIEF... BUT IT LEAVES ME WITH ANOTHER PROBLEM.

 **Tony:** Did you just kidnap someone's kids?

 **Thor:** VERILY.

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 **Steve:** Tony, I need your help —Steve

 **Tony:** WHAT?! THIS IS THE SIXTH FUCKING TIME YOU'VE TEXTED ME IN THE PAST HOUR! WHAT IS WRONG!?

 **Steve:** The robot next to the refrigerator just hissed at me. —Steve

 **Tony:**... Steve. That's the fricking coffee machine. And we've talked about this, stop piputting the name at the end of your texts! We can see that it's you!

 **Steve:**... oh, sorry. —Steve

 **Tony:** You know what, I give up! I'm done! Figure out your own technological problems! I quit!

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 **Thor:** MAN OF IRON! I MUST SPEAK TO YOU OF THE MOST WONDROUS THING!

 **Tony:** What is it.

 **Thor:** GUESS WHAT I LEARNED TO DO!

 **Tony:** Oh the limitless possibilities. What?

 **Thor:** (-.-(-.-(-.-(-.-)-.-)-.-)-.-) THE CHINESE MAFIA IS WATCHING YOU.

 **Tony:**... You should not be allowed a phone.

 **Thor:** WHY NOT? IT IS THE MOST GLORIOUS THING!

 **Thor:** ANOTHER!

 **Tony:**... If you just broke your phone by throwing it down, I'm not making you a new one.

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 **Tony:** Hey guys, I sent you all an advanced copy of my autobiography, and need some quotes for the book jacket. Any ideas?

 **Hulk:** Book has many words.

 **Thor:** A THUNDEROUS READ.

 **Steve:** Made in America.

 **Natasha:** An overcompensating story from a man with inadequacy issues.

 **Tony:** Great! I'm going to use all of those except Widows.

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 **Thor:** MAN OF IRON! I HAVE DISCOVERED HOW TO DOWNLOAD THESE THINGS CALLED "APPS"

 **Tony:** That's great Thor.

 **Thor:** WHY ARE THE THE BIRDS SO ANGRY? VERILY, THEY SHOULD CALM THEMSELVES AND MAKE PEACE WITH THE PIGS.

 **Tony:** Oh my god...

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 **Thor:** MAN OF IRON, I REQUIRE ASSISTANCE REBUILDING THE RAINBOW BRIGDE.

 **Tony:** That's not really my forte. That sounds either magical, or like a skittles commercial.

 **Thor:** THEN I WILL NEED ASSISTANCE FROM EARTH'S HERO, MARIO.

 **Tony:** I don't know any hero's named Mario.

 **Thor:** I HAVE HEARD HIM REFERRED TO AS SUPER MARIO, THE ONE WHO RIDES THE RAINBOW ROAD.

 **Tony:** Wow, okay. Yeah. I know him. You'd like him. He's also got a skinny brother who dresses all in green.

 **Thor:** WE ARE LIKE KIN!

 **So what did you think? Should I do a part 2 of Avengers texts? I would love to hear your guy's opinion and remember to let me know in the reviews if I should do a Black Panther chapter countdown! That's all for now!**

 **Xoxo,**

 **-Raven**


	9. Avengers Texts Part 2

**Hey people! So at the request of many of you... I'm doin' an Avengers texting part 2 baby! Hmm... maybe I should do a part 3 also? What do you guys think? Let me know in the reviews! Also let me know if I should do the Black Panther chapter countdown!**

 **Thank you to tvLifeGirl12 for following and favoriting this story! So I present to you more Thor hilarities, more annoyed Tony, more clueless Steve, and I decided to add some Deadpool, and bum bum bum! THE FRIKEN GUARDIANS OF THE GALAXY!**

 **Okay I'm done, I think (idk) here's the new chapter! I hope I bring you as much laughs as I did in the last chapter!**

 **Thor:** MAN OF IRON! I HAVE MASTERED THIS MESSAGE TEXTING.

 **Tony:** Good job Thor!

 **Thor:** BUT I HAVE ONE QUESTION.

 **Tony:** Okay, shoot.

 **Thor:** BUT WHY WOULD I SHOOT YOU FRIEND STARK? WE ARE COMRADES IN BATTLE AND YOU ARE MY FRIEND.

 **Tony:** No, Thor, it means ask your question.

 **Thor:** OH I SEE. IT IS WHAT YOU MIDGUARDIANS REFER TO AS A METAPHOR.

 **Tony:** No, no it's n—, you know what? Just ask your question, I can't deal with this right now.

 **Thor:** WHAT DOES IDK MEAN?

 **Tony:** I don't know.

 **Thor:** BLAST! NO ONE SEEMS TO KNOW.

 **Thor:** I'LL ASK LOKI.

 **Tony:** This is why I don't want to help you!

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 **Thor:** MAN OF IRON. I HAVE PLACED THE SLICED PIECE OF BREAD INTO THE TOAST MACHINE. WHAT DO I DO NOW?

 **Tony:** Just pull the lever and wait until it's ready.

 **Thor:** MAN OF IRON. I WAITED JUST AS YOU SAID BUT THE MACHINE WILL NOT SURRENDER MY BREAKFAST!

 **Thor:** NOW IT HAS GONE ROGUE AND ATTEMPTED TO LAUNCH THE SLICED BREAD AT MY FACE.

 **Thor:** NOT TO WORRY IRON ONE, THE METAL MONSTROSITY HAS BEEN ANNIHILATED.

 **Tony:** Thor, maybe from now on you should just have some cereal.

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 **Tony:** Hey Capsicle, are you free this Tuesday?

 **Steve:** Darn right I'm free. —Steve

 **Steve:** This is America. —Steve

 ***Steve sends picture of a Bald Eagle in front of the American flag***

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 **Thor:** GREETINGS CAPTAIN OF ALL THINGS AMERICAN! I UNDERSTAND THAT IT THE 2 AM BUT I MUST INFORM YOU THAT IT IS A FINE MORNING INDEED.

 **Steve:** It's too early for all caps Thor. To early.

 **Thor:** I AM TERRIBLY SORRY. SHOULD I CONTACT YOU VIA TEXTUAL MESSAGE AT A LATER TIME?

 **Steve:** If by that you mean that you'll text Tony from now on, then yes, do that.

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 **Gamora:** You call Rocket a raccoon, and Groot a tree. Am I similar to anything on Earth?

 **Peter:** A Ninja Turtle. They're green shadow warriors.

 **Gamora:** I like it!

 **Peter:** Actually, we're all kinda like Ninja Turtles. Drax is Raphael, Rocket is Donatello, Groot is Mikey, and your Leonardo. I am obviously Master Splinter.

 **Gamora:** Who is Master Splinter?

 **Peter:** A wise master who knows what's best.

 **Gamora:** That doesn't sound like you at all.

 **Peter:** He doesn't fight as much as the Turtles And is kinda gross.

 **Gamora:** You are Master Splinter.

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 **Peter:** So for this adventure, which mixtape do you guys wanna hear? Volume 1 or 2?

 **Rocket:** Third option, we could listen to ANYTHING OTHER THAN YOUR MIXTAPE!

 **Peter:** It's from my mom!

 **Gamora:** And that's sweet, but you've made us listen to the same two tapes on repeat for three years. Each tape is less than two hours of music!

 **Peter:** Riiiiiiiight, I forgot that you guys have so many other tapes we could listen to.

 **Drax:** We do not have any tapes.

 **Peter:** Fine. I get it. No tapes. I'll just sing the songs myself.

 **Rocket:** Volume 2 is fine.

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 **Thor:** I HAVE ANOTHER QUESTION FOR YOU, MAN OF IRON.

 **Tony:** Fiiiiiiiiiine. What is it this time!

 **Thor:** WHAT DOES LOL MEAN?

 **Tony:** Laugh out loud.

 **Thor:** I DO NOT UNDERSTAND. WHAT DOES IT MEAN?

 **Tony:** Laugh out loud.

 **Thor:** OKAY, I DID. NOW TELL ME WHAT IT MEANS!

 **Tony:** Oh my god!

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 **Tony:** Status check. I'm down to 10% power reserves and 5 missiles.

 **Clint:** I've got 3 arrows and my charm.

 **Steve:** I've lost my shield, but I've still got some fight left in me. —Steve

 **Natasha:** I've got 80% power on Widow bites, two sidearms with 3 clips each, 2 batons, and a dozen throwing stars.

 **Tony:** Okay so Widow is good.

 **Natasha:** Oh and an extendable bow staff, 4 grenades, 2 knock out gas canisters, assault rifle with half a clip, and 2 poisonous hair pins.

 **Tony:** You're in a skin-tight leather outfit, how are you storing more weapons than me!?

 **Natasha:** You should see me play poker.

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 **Nick Fury:** Bring back the Helicarrier now!

 **Deadpool:** You said I could borrow it.

 **Nick Fury:** I specifically said that you could NOT borrow it!

 **Deadpool:** Yeah, but you winked.

 **Nick Fury:** I only have one eye. That was a blink!

 **Deadpool:** Seemed like a wink to me.

 **Nick Fury:** Well, when your other eye is covered by an eyepatch, the. We'll talk.

 **Deadpool:** Just means you're winking all the time. Your more wink than man. It's good I took the Helicarrier from you, Wink-man. My most nefarious foe!

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 **Tony:** Thor, why is the fridge destroyed?!

 **Thor:** IT WAS EMITTING A RATHER FRIGHTENING GROWL AND THE MACHINE THAT MAGICALLY PRODUCES ICE STARTLED ME AT THE MIDNIGHT HOUR.

 **Tony:** You know what, forget I said anything.

 **That was so much fun to write! I love doing these things! Let me know in the reviews if I made you laugh, if I should do a part 2, or if I should do a Black Panther chapter countdown! That's all for now!**

 **Xoxo,**

 **-Raven**


	10. I Promised

**Hey guys! So I know that this story is humor but I really wanted to do this headcannon but just a warning, when I first read this headcannon I cried, so it's sad. So this one is more of a feels one than the others but I think you'll like it, but let me know if you cried, or at least teared up, or felt emotional. Ok I've warned you so preceded at your own risk and don't sue me if I end up destroying your heart. It already destroyed mine (jeez that got dark real fast!) You have been warned!**

 **. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .**

"Steve," a voice said. Steve groaned. "Steve," the voice persisted. Steve swatted a hand away, grumbling,

"Bucky I am gonna…"

"Get up punk!" Bucky shouted in his face.

"GODDAMMIT WHAT!" Steve yelled in frustration, bolting right off the bed and swinging a hand towards anything that was within a three foot radius. He saw Bucky grinning cheekily and affectionately smiling at him.

"Happy birthday!" Steve blinked up at Bucky, who was way too chipper to be taken seriously at seven o'clock in the morning. Steve then looked at the calendar that was nailed poorly into the shabbily painted wall.

"It's my birthday." He said. Bucky ruffled Steve's hair and sat on the bed with him.

"You don't sound too happy." He observed.

"You think the army will cut me some slack if I signed up today?" Steve asked hopefully.

"Nope." Bucky replied flatly

"Then I'm not happy."

"Jeez, Stevie." Bucky said as he threw a shirt at Steve's face. "Come on. Were gonna celebrate. You ain't spending your birthday sulking around."

Steve half-heartedly pulled the shirt over his head. "Breakfast at the diner?"

"Toast, eggs, and bacon." Bucky said as he pulled a comb out from a drawer.

"Stroll around the park?"

"Borrowed Jimmy's bicycle and Bart's kites."

"Firework-watching at the rooftop of the abandoned building by Port street?"

Bucky looked at Steve pointedly. "Maybe I should change it up next time."

Steve chuckled, as he headed for the bathroom. "You think?"

Bucky threw on a jacket and headed towards the door. "I have to talk to Mrs. Johnson for just a quick second—,"

"Are we late on rent?" Steve interrupted, his head poking out of the bathroom door.

"No."

"Buck."

"No, don't worry about it, I got it covered, okay?" Bucky said reassuringly, halfway through the door. "Just do me a favor," he chewed on his lower lip for a second, and not another longer. Steve stared at him expectantly. "Take a Look under the bed." With that, Bucky slipped away and bounded down the stairs with a speed that could only be described as military combat-ready. Steve graced Bucky with about five minutes of reprieve— brushing his teeth, washing his face, and running his fingers through his hair in an attempt to better how it looked— then padded towards the bed. He lifted the blanket that dangled off the edge. A package sat solely on the floor, wrapped in crisp brown paper, twine circled around it until it finished off into a small messy bow. Steve reached for it and let himself settle back onto the mattress, the present nestled between his hands. Steve worked quickly, unwinding the twine and ripping the wrapping paper with an excitement that he did not expect to feel. He felt leather beneath his fingers. It was a beautiful leather bound notebook. Small, but pristine in the way that it was made, the spine strong despite its size. Half of the pages were lined, and half were bank. By the corner of the cover was an engraved set of initials.

"S.R." Steve whispered under his breath. He opened the notebook gingerly and spotted Bucky's handwriting on the first page.

 _Now you don't have to doodle on the table napkins anymore. P.S. I'm sorry I couldn't get you some good pens too. On your next birthday, I promise._ It read, Steve smiled. When Bucky heard Steve descending down the stairs, he again thanked Mrs. Johnson for the rent extension.

"It's his birthday, I really wanted to get him something good," he told her, and bid her goodbye. Bucky saw a leather corner sticking out of Steve's jacket pocket. Steve grinned at him, like there was no place he'd rather be.

"Let's go."

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Months after, Bucky got shipped out to the 107th. _I might never see him again._

When Steve stepped up to Dr. Abraham Erskine, Who has five of his declined files in hand, he had the notebook. _The same exact place he first placed it in._

When he finally got a stamp on his file that doesn't say 'declined', he packed the notebook between folded shirts and childhood pictures. _Of him and Bucky._

When he donned the new the new body, and subsequently donned the new costume, he left the notebook behind. _There is no room in the costume._

When he found out about Bucky's infantry held in captivity he stole one of the girls helmets. _He also steals the notebook back from months of disregard._

When he presented his costume design to Howard Stark, he made sure there were pockets. _To forever be able to keep the notebook with him._

When he got Bucky back, he had the notebook. When he lost him again, he had the notebook. When he plunged the aircraft deep into the ice, he had the notebook tucked against his chest, the way he had Peggy's compass laid out before him. _To be able to find when he wakes up._

When he settled down after waking up seventy years into the future, the first thing they gave him was the notebook, not the shield. When he sat in silence in his own room within the Helicarrier, feeling alone with the company of so many more, he had the notebook laid open on the table. _To remember his life left behind._

When Sam Wilson told him _Trouble man Soundtrack_ , he jotted it down on the lined pages of the notebook that was just about as old as him. _To make more memories._

The moment he plunged into the Potomac River was the moment the notebook finally died— along with the inked portraits of the same man who let him fall. _You're my friend. You're my mission._

The notebook died. Steve Rogers didn't. _Then finish it._

He still doesn't know how he survived. _Cause I'm with you, 'till the end of the line._

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"Happy birthday again Cap." Natasha said smiling, giving him a quick hug as Sam clapped a hand on his shoulder.

"Sorry for the—," Sam looked around at the mildly trashed apartment. "—mess." He finished.

Steve chucked. "I got, it don't worry." When the last person closed the door behind him, silence seeped into the place like spilled water on the floor. The fireworks had long finished, and at three in the morning, in the neighborhood that he's in, the calm came in considerably earlier than in the rest of the country.

"Happy birthday." He told himself, sighing.

 _You don't sound very happy_ , whispered a voice in his head, echoing with the past. Steve smiled a soft smile as a single tear leaked out, and crawled into bed. Leaving the mess to be cleaned up tomorrow.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

When Steve woke up the next morning, he found a package under the bed. He ripped through the brown paper as quickly as he did seventy years ago, daring to wish, daring to hope, daring to dream. His eyes welled up with tears because, in his hands were a handful of of ink drawing pens, with a note wedged in between.

 _I promised._

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 **Okay, I'm gonna be honest here, I started tearing up just writing that. Let me know if you cried or teared up at all, I won't judge. Personally this is one of my favorite emotional headcannons, I have another one of my favorites coming later in this story (maybe, no promises) that I hope you like. This was also my favorite chapters to write if I'm being honest. I hope you liked this chapter! Please remember to follow, favorite, and review!**

 **Xoxo,**

 **-Raven**


	11. Friend Like Me

**Hello! I have another parody for y'all! This is the first chapter in THE BLACK PANTHER COUNTDOWN! I am so hyped for this movie! I'm also super excited that their finally making a movie about my culture and ethnicity! It took them long enough! This was requested by guest a while ago and I'm sorry that I could not get to it sooner, but if you make a request and I don't do it right away it means that 1, I have the next few chapters already planned out or 2, I already have some ideas that I have started working on. I am still listening so please feel free to request! But I'm happy because I have like 2 more requests to get to right now so Yay! This chapter was kinda hard to write, so I'm sorry if the writing quality is bad, but I tried my best and this is the product so…(you already know what's coming) deal wit dat! The song is Friend Like Me from Aladdin and I hope you like!**

 **I want to thank RosalieHale1201, and whoperhero for favoriting this story, and redromanova, and Alma Bipolar for following this story!**

 **So without further ado, I present to you (see what I did there? It rhymes!) a new parody! (I also don't own Marvel or the Avengers because if I did, then Infinity War would come out now BECAUSE IT'S ALREADY FINISHED FILMING! UGHHH! *takes a deep breath* Sorry I got a little extra passionate there) So enjoy the start of the BLACK PANTHER COUNTDOWN! *grabs popcorn and flops on the couch* Roll chapter!**

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Spiderman and Doctor Strange, what an unlikely duo. But they made it work. New York had been invaded by a group of mutant zombies, and with the Avengers out of the country on a mission, and with just Peter and Strange left, it was up to them. The battle had been fierce and exhausting but they made a great team, surprisingly. So that's where we're in the present, surrounded by wreckage, and dead zombies. Clothes dirty and ripped, and with a few injuries. Other then that, they were fine.

"Do you want to come back with me to the Sanctum do rest and get a drink before you go home?" The doctor asked, wanting to get to know Peter better, he seemed like an interesting smart kid.

"Sure!" Peter yelled excitedly. "I mean… sure." He corrected himself, trying to sound more professional. They started walking in the direction of the Sanctum, Peter chatting excitedly the whole way. When they got there they entered, and sat on one of the couches.

"So Peter," Strange began. "How old are you?"

"Um… I'm 15." He said cautiously, anticipating what the reaction would be. But the reaction never came.

"Hm." Was all Strange said. As if knowing what Peter was expecting to happen he added, "I've seen weirder things." They continued like this, asking questions back in forth, to get to know each other. But that's when Peter asked the question that Strange had been wanting him to ask.

"So, what exactly are your powers?" Finally! He thought. He had prepared for this question, just not in the way you would expect. Strange realized that he had been zoned out and that Peter was staring at him expectantly.

" _Well, you see…" he began, standing up._

 _"Now Tony had them 40 suits_

 _And Thor lives for 5,000 years_

 _But Peter you're in luck, 'cause up my suit_

 _I've got a brand of magic that never fails_

 _I've got some power in my corner now!_

 _Some heavy superhero-ness in your camp!_

 _I've got some awesome, mystic, arts, and now_

 _You asked me what I can do, and I'll say:_

 _Mr. Peter sir, my powers are a mystery_

 _I've got Eldritch Magic, sling ring and more! You ain't never had a friend like me,"_ he sang as he created the intricately designed yellow circles of magic and formed them into the shape of a sling ring. Peter watched in awe, his mouth agape.

" _My cape can levitate, and it is very, very friendly,"_ Dr. Strange's cape floated off his shoulders and over to Peter, where it nuzzled him on the cheek.

" _I can do astral projection and teleporting_

 _You ain't never had a friend like me_

 _Yes sir, I pride my self on portals_

 _I'm a wizard, sorcerer, strange_

 _Say what's my name? It's Doctor Strange!_

 _And I've got a time manipulation thing!"_ Strange grabbed an apple and did the same trick he had done earlier when he first discovered the Eye Of Agamotto.

" _I can inter-dimensionally travel_

 _And do some transmutation to_

 _I'm in the mood to show you dude_

 _You ain't never had a friend like me_

 _You ain't never had a friend, never had a friend_

 _You ain't never had a friend, never had a friend_

 _You ain't never."_ He appeared suddenly beside Peter who yelped in surprise and almost fell off his seat.

" _Had a. Friend like! Meeeeeeeeee!"_ Strange used his cape to levitate up into the air and belted out that note.

" _You ain't never had a friend like me."_ He finished with a cocky smile as he landed. Peter looked absolutely lost. He was a scientific kid, and magic was completely new and crazy for him.

"Did I answer your question?" Strange asked smugly.

"Y-yeah sure." Peter replied, amazed that the serious sorcerer just sung one of his favorite songs as a child.

"Good," Doctor Strange said. "When you step through this portal you will find yourself back in your apartment."

"Cool! Thank you so much Mr. Strange!" Peter said enthusiastically.

"No problem, you got heart, I would be glad to work with you another time." Peter beamed and waved one last time before disappearing into the portal.

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 **Sweet! I love friend like me so much! I don't know if I did this right or not so guest who requested this chapter, can you please let me know if I did this right and I'm sorry that it took so long for me to do this! And remember this is just the beginning of the BLACK PANTHER COUNTDOWN! Also remember to follow, favorite, and review!**

 **Xoxo,**

 **-Raven**


	12. Headcannon Mashup

**Alright people! We have reached the second chapter in the BLACK PANTHER COUNTDOWN! (That will always be in all caps). This chapter isn't really one headcannon, it's more of a mashup of multiple headcannons that were to short to write about.**

 **Thank you to Pyro007 for following this story, and tijgersprong for following and favoriting this story!**

 **So yeah! I hope you like the next chapter in the BLACK PANTHER COUNTDOWN!**

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"Alright guys," Tony said seriously, placing his hands on the table. "Team meeting." The Avengers all groaned. Whenever Tony called a team meeting, it was usually about something unimportant or stupid. "C'mon!" Tony whined. "It's serious this time! I promise!"

"Uh-huh," Bruce said nonchalantly, turning the page in his book.

"It's about the levels of crime that are rising." Tony elaborated. Everyone immediately turned serious and followed Tony into the meeting room. They sat down at their spots and Tony started to rant about why crime was rising and how they could stop it. But no one was paying attention. They were watching as Deadpool slipped in through the window and started to reheat a chimichanga in the microwave. Why Tony had insisted on putting a microwave in every meeting room, no one would know. "Hey people! Focus!" Tony said, snapping his fingers, completely oblivious to the source of his teammates distraction. They turned their attention back to him, faces stoic. Meanwhile, Deadpool had finished with the microwave, and was now eating in the background and nodding along. Tony finally saw Deadpool out of the corner of his eye, and turned sharply around.

"What the hell are you doing here?" He asked, annoyed. Deadpool just casually jumped out the window yelling,

"Spidey catch me!" The Avengers stared after him in confusion, then they heard a splat, followed by a muffled, "WHAT THE SHIT PARKER!"

 **NEXTHEADCANNONNEXTHEADCANNONNEXTHEADCANNONNEXTHEADCANNON**

The Avengers used to think that Bucky was the one to get Steve in trouble during the pre-war days, but within three days of Bucky joining the team they realized that it was the exact opposite. You see, Steve is a thousand times more reckless when Bucky's around because everyone knows that doing stupidu and dangerous shit is way more fun when you have someone trailing after you and telling you, that's a terrible idea Steve, oh my god, if you jump out of one more plane I will END YOU. So the others started betting money on who could get Steve to do the most ridiculous thing. Clint was the only one who realized that literally all it takes to get Steve to do the thing, is to get Bucky to tell him not to do it. Clint doesn't even think that Steve realizes that this is happening.

"Hey Cap." Clint said one day. Approaching Steve as he was reading. _I'm gonna win ten thousand off of Stark for this one!_ He thought excitedly. "You ever think about jumping off the roof?"

"Can't say I have." Steve replied, casually turning a page.

"Really?" Clint asked. "Because I bet you could make it to the next building over."

"Probably could," Steve said. He knew that the team had been trying to get him to do dangerous things, but he didn't quite know why. "But I know what your doing, and I'm not going to try."

"Damn right your not," Bucky muttered from across the table.

"You know what, there's only one way to find out." Steve said, setting down his book and standing up. "Guys, I'm gonna jump off the roof."

 **NEXTHEADCANNONNEXTHEADCANNONNEXTHEADCANNONNEXTHEADCANNON**

 **(This is Sam talking)** (This is Bucky talking)

Bucky and Sam did not get along well, everyone knew that. So whenever they had one of their little issues they mostly stayed clear. Even if most of those issues was Sam being annoying and not being nice. Most of their issues were a little like this.

Hey Sam, can you get me a glass of milk?

 ***while pouring a glass of milk* There is no milk.**

Hey Sam, what's your phone number?

 ***visibly texting* I don't have a phone.**

Can I read that book when your done?

 ***chucks book out window* What book?**

Can I have some water?

 ***starts chugging water bottle. Chokes from drinking to fast. Spills water all over him self* *coughing* I don't have any water.**

Hey Sam, can I get a ride home?

 ***getting into car* I don't have a car.**

Can you turn the music down?

 ***turning the music up louder* I can't hear you! The musics to loud!**

I like this song! Can you turn it up?

 ***turns radio off***

*breathes*

 **Can you not.**

But apparently only Sam is aloud to tease Bucky. Observe.

 ***Sam teases Bucky***

*laughs*

 _*Some one else teases Bucky*_

…

 **Whoa, whoa, whoa there buddy! Who the fuck do you think you are makin fun of vanilla ice like that?! I'll make sure to kick you in your ass the next time I see you! Don't make me sic Redwing on you! So take a few steps back, m'kay?**

 **NEXTHEADCANNONNEXTHEADCANNONNEXTHEADCANNONNEXTHEADCANNON**

(Translations at the bottom of the page)

"Tak Natasha, chto ya dolzhen delat' s etoy shrirachey?" Bucky asked in Russian while side-eying Sam.

"Eto ryanyy, vy mozhete polozhit' yego na chto-nibud'." Natasha answered back in Russian. "Pochemu ty tak serdish'sya na Sema?"

"YA pritvoryayus', chto govoryu o nem der'mo," Bucky said. "Khorosho li eto na yaytsakh?"

"O, potryasayushche! YA sobirayus' vzglyanut' na Stiva i pritvoryat'sya, chto govoryu der'mo." Natasha said, scowling at Steve while Bucky scowled at Sam.

"What the fuck is going on over there?" Sam asked, annoyed.

"I don't know, but I don't like it." Steve replied. Glancing warily at the two Russian speaking master assassins.

"Eto samoye interesnoye, chto u menya bylo s 1944 goda!" Bucky exclaimed, as he high-fived Natasha.

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 **Translations (I'm sorry if there inaccurate but I used google translate so…):**

 **Tak Natasha, chto ya dolzhen delat' s etoy shrirachey?** = So Natasha, what am I supposed to do with this sriracha stuff?

 **Eto ryanyy, vy mozhete polozhit' yego na chto-nibud'.** = It's spicy, you can put it on anything. It's really good.

 **Pochemu ty tak serdish'sya na Sema?** = Why are you glaring at Sam like that?

 **YA pritvoryayus', chto govoryu o nem der'mo,** = I'm pretending to talk shit about him,

 **Khorosho li eto na yaytsakh?** = Is it good on eggs?

 **O, potryasayushche! YA sobirayus' vzglyanut' na Stiva i pritvoryat'sya, chto govoryu der'mo.** = Oh fantastic! I'm going to glare at Steve and pretend to talk shit.

 **Eto samoye interesnoye, chto u menya bylo s 1944 goda!=** This is the most fun I've had since 1944!

 **. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .**

 **So what did you guys think? I don't know really know about this format or this chapter it's an iffy thing but I want to know what you think of it. That's all I have to say for now! Please remember to follow, favorite, and review!**

 **Xoxo,**

 **-Raven**


	13. Super Dodge Ball

**Let's get this party started! With the 4th chapter in the (you already know what's coming) BLACK PANTHER COUNTDOWN! I am pumped and over excited! I've been wanting to do this headcannon for a long time, but couldn't figure out how to go about it until like, a couple nights ago it came to me right as I was about to go to sleep. So I got my iPad and wrote it out at around 1:00 in the morning.**

 **Thank you to Freedom to Rarity for following and favoriting this story!**

 **So enjoy the chapter!**

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Captain America dove for safety, rolling over and holding up his shield up to defend himself. The red rubber ball bounced harmlessly of the surface and sailed across the room. Snatching a ball next to his feet, Steve pitched it across the room and it narrowly missed the expert assassin, who barely managed to get out of the way in time.

"This-" he panted taking his place next to the Scarlet Witch. "Is intense." All the Avengers (plus T'Challa) had gathered in the tower for a special game: Super Dodge Ball. Wanda picked up a ball with her magic and hurled it with lightning fast speed. It sailed towards Thor, but he smacked it away with Mjølnir, using the hammer as a bat. Natasha dove away so she wouldn't get decapitated.

"Is it always like this?" Wanda asked in her accented voice. "Being an Avenger I mean?"

Clint shrugged. "Pretty much." They'd all split up into two teams with Steve and Tony as captains. On Tony's team were Rhodey, T'Challa, Vision, and Natasha. Steve's team was made up of Bucky, Wanda, Clint, Sam, and Thor. Bruce volunteered to be referee, and everyone agreed quickly, for obvious reasons. The game was in full swing. Hero against hero, friend against friend. It was war, Natasha pointed out, a Civil War. The stakes were high too. The losing team had to clean all the toilets in the tower. Iron Man flew above his team and assaulted from above. Sam was distracted trying to avoid Natasha's ball, so Tony hit him with his own. Bruce blew his whistle.

"You're out, Sam." He headed over to the sidelines and plopped down, exhausted. Tony paused a little too long to celebrate and got nailed by Bucky's ball, thrown with his metal arm. Bruce's whistle sounded again.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah," Tony groaned. "I'm out." As he past Bucky he grumbled, "Now I have to un-dent this!" He said, gesturing to the obvious dent on the shoulder. Bucky just grinned.

"I have grown fond of this game!" Thor bellowed, swinging Mjølnir around wildly.

Several balls hovered around Wanda and with a flick of her wrist they all hurtled towards T'Challa. He he did a series of flips and twists avoiding all the balls until one that he didn't see smacked his shoulder. She smirked, satisfied. Vision stood in the center of the field watching balls fly back and forth. Every time one was about to hit him he'd just phase through it. Unfortunately though he couldn't phase while throwing a ball, and got hit by Steve. After several minutes of vicious throwing and dodging, Captain America, Clint, and Natasha were the last ones standing.

"That's not fair!" Tony complained about Steve. "He cheated... somehow."

Sam rolled his eyes. "You're only complaining because he's not on your team." He smiled evilly. "And that you might have to clean toilets."

Tony huffed. "Hey, isn't this game supposed to be with all the Avengers?" he asked Bruce.

"Uh, yeah." he answered hesitantly, wondering what Tony was up to. "Why do you ask?"

"The teams were uneven," Tony smiled. "So I called in reinforcements."

"Mr, Stark? Is that my cue?" A voice called out.

"Yes Peter," Tony said sighing. "You ruined the dramatic affect."

"I'm sorry! So should I come down?"

"Yes Peter." Tony replied, sighing again. A figure in a red and blue suit swung down from the rafters and landed. Then lightning fast they shot a web at Caps's shield and pulled it away as they threw a ball at him. Bruce blew his whistle.

"Cap your out!" Steve glared at Tony as he walked over to the sidelines. Tony smiled smugly.

"Did you see that Mr. Stark?! I got him!" Peter said excitedly, turning to look at him. Suddenly he was hit with a ball thrown by Clint who grinned triumphantly. Now it was just the two spies. They dodged, weaved, and flipped around the others balls as if they were dancing. Until Nat had to stop to swipe a stray lock of hair out of her face, and got struck in the face by a ball. Everyone froze, and slowly looked at Clint who gulped nervously.

"Run." Natasha whispered dangerously. Clint didn't need to be told twice. He bolted towards the climbing wall on the side of the gym and scrambled up it into the rafters.

 **. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .**

Hours later the team was still trying to coax him down from the ceiling.

"Come on down Clint," Steve said reassuringly. "It's okay, she's gone."

"NO SHE IS'NT!" Clint yelled. "SHE'S JUST WAITING!"

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 **I love this one so much! I feel like Natasha would do this and then not do anything to Clint, thinking that this was punishment enough. I love Nat because I feel like she could kill you with her bare hands in a second, but she would be the one to choose the squeaky chair in the meeting room and squeak it just to get on everyone's nerves. Let me know what you thought of this chapter! Please remember to follow, favorite, and review!**

 **Xoxo,**

 **-Raven**


	14. I've Got A Dream

**Here we are! Already at the 4th chapter in the BLACK PANTHER COUNTDOWN! Only 3 more days till it comes out! I have had so much fun writing this story and before you ask, no, this story is not even close to over, it could go on as long as I want it to because it has no plot and it's just a mashup of things, so yeah! This is a new format that I wanted to try it's just lyrics and no story with it because it really didn't need to have one.**

 **Thank you to KattenFindus for following and favoriting this story!**

 **Alright onto the next chapter! And it's a parody so yaaay! The song is I've Got A Dream from Tangled.**

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 _(Black Widow)_

 _I had a dream once…_

 _I'm a super spy and agent_

 _But I can be impatient_

 _And violence wise I've got red in my ledger_

 _But despite intimidating look, and my weapons, and my sass_

 _I'd really like to keep Budapest a secret_

 _Can'tcha see me in New York fighting aliens?_

 _And not bowing down to Loki on my knees_

 _Yes, I'd rather fight for good_

 _Just like Cap and Tony would_

 _Cause way down deep inside I've got a dream_

 _(Everyone)_

 _She's got a dream_

 _She's got a dream_

 _(Black Widow)_

 _See I'm not as cold and distant as I seem_

 _Though I do like breaking fingers_

 _You can count me with the dreamers_

 _Like everybody else I've got a dream_

 _(Captain America)_

 _I crashed a plane in the forties_

 _And it got me lots of glory_

 _And let's not even mention my patriotism_

 _It despite me being pure, I've got a dark side, for sure!_

 _Like all you other guys I've got a dream_

 _(Everyone)_

 _He's got a dream_

 _He's got a dream_

 _(Hulk)_

 _I'D JUST LIKE TO GET MAD AND NOT TURN GREEN_

 _(Captain America)_

 _Though I am in my nineties_

 _Im not very tiny_

 _Way down deep inside I've got a dream_

 _(Everyone)_

 _Natasha would like to quit and be a florist_

 _Hawkeye does interior design_

 _Rodger's into rhyme_

 _Fury's cupcakes are sublime_

 _Stark knits, Banner sews, Pepper secretly loves puppet shows_

 _And Loki here collects ceramic unicorns…_

 _(Iron Man)_

 _I've got dreams like you, no really!_

 _Just much less touchy feely_

 _That mainly happen in my awesome workshop_

 _Where I make Iron Man armor_

 _I also am quite the charmer_

 _Surrounded by my lots and lots of money_

 _(Thor)_

 _I'VE GOT A DREAM_

 _I'VE GOT A DREAM_

 _I WISH LOKI WOULD STOP BEING SO MEAN_

 _BUT WITH EVERY PASSING HOUR_

 _I DREAM OF DANCING FLOWERS_

 _JUST LIKE ALL YOU LOVELY FOLKS I'VE GOT A DREAM_

 _(Everyone)_

 _Yes way down deep inside we've got a dream!_

 _We've got a dream!_

 _We've got a dream! We've got a dream!_

 _Way down deep inside we've got a dream!_

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 **Yeah… so that happened. I hope you enjoyed this chapter and please remember to follow, favorite, and review!**

 **Xoxo,**

 **-Raven**


	15. Senior Citizen

**Hey! So this is going to be a short chapter, but I really wanted to do this headcannon and it's a short one. Just remember y'all, not all headcannons are long, and not all chapters will be long. I've been nice to y'all and tried to make the chapters as long as I can but sometimes I gotta cut ' em short mmk? Alright now that that is aside welcome to the 5th chapter of the BLACK PANTHER COUNTDOWN! Wow, I can't believe that there's only a couple more chapters left, and we're so close to the movie! So Enough talk! Let's get this chapter started! Oh and HAPPY VALENTINES DAY!**

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Steve Rogers didn't often let insults affect him. But what really got on his nerves, was all the old man jokes. At least, it did for a couple of days. _If I fully embrace my senior citizen status, then maybe they'll get annoyed and stop making the jokes,_ he thought one day. And he did embrace it, and he ended up having more fun then he could have predicted. Whenever Tony made some witty or smart remark aimed at him he would shout,

"Respect you elders young 'un!" Which earned him a glare from the billionaire. He would constantly use the phrase "back in my day" just to hear Nat and Clint groan, and call the Avengers kid, or sonny.

"Tony! You're going to make me late for bingo!" He would yell whenever Tony was late. And god help those poor Avengers when Bucky came back, because you know those little bastards will tag team.

"Damn it! The WiFi's out!" Clint complained to the Avengers in the kitchen as he smacked his phone on his hand.

"You know," Steve said suddenly appearing with Bucky by his side. The team groaned as they realized what was coming. "Back in our day we had to walk five miles to school—,"

"Uphill both ways!" Bucky exclaimed, jumping in.

"In the snow!" Steve continued grinning.

"And we were grateful!" Bucky finished, with a fake stern expression. Clint face palmed, Tony face planted into his breakfast, Thor just looked confused, Bruce continued reading, and Natasha up and left.

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When Sam moved into the tower (I know he never moved into the tower but I like using it as a setting so deal wit dat!) he had no clue what was going on. Until that one day he asked that fateful question.

"You know, from being from the forties, I kinda thought you two would speak more—old timey." He asked to Steve and Bucky one day as the Avengers gestured wildly to stop talking behind the two.

"Well gol- **ly**!" Steve said, mouth open in pretend shock.

"Gee wiz." Bucky monotoned, with a straight expression, joining in. They followed Sam around for the rest of the day, and whenever he spoke they would jump in with their "old timey" language.

"What did I have to ask." He complained at dinner

"We tried to warn you." Natasha replied, not looking sorry at all

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 **Now don't heckle me because I know that this is short but (you already know what's coming) deal wit dat! But you know that Steve and Bucky would totally do this! Hope you liked this chapter and please remember to follow, favorite, and review!**

 **Xoxo,**

 **-Raven**


	16. Mama Frigga

**Wow! Okay, only one more chapter to go! I don't know why the hell happened with this chapter but I saw this on tumblr and I thought about this myself so I was like hey! Why don't I do this! So yeah… here we are, but I'm just trying a whole bunch of different formats in this countdown, so please work with me! I hope you like this chapter because I really enjoyed writing it. Black Panther comes out tomorrow! Who's excited!? I know I am! Oh I forgot to say it! This is the 6th chapter in… the BLACK PANTHER COUNTDOWN! Alright! Enough talk! Read chapter we must.**

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The god of thunder stormed through the golden halls of Asgard, fist clenched dangerously around his trusty hammer, Mjølnir. The servants couldn't get out of the way quick enough as the prince made his way to Odin's throne room with large, purposeful strides.

"I demand to speak with the All-Father!" Thor boomed as he threw open the massive golden doors. Odin dismissed the officials he was talking to before acknowledging his son.

"What brings you here, Thor?"

"Have you not heard?" Thor didn't stop his raging to bow. "Heimdall just informed me that Loki is attempting to take over Midgard."

"Loki?" Odin repeated surprised.

"Verily. It seems the trickster has lived up to his name once again," Thor scowled. It wasn't that he was not happy that Loki was alive and well. In fact, he was ecstatic, but the happiness was outweighed by the fact his supposedly dead brother was using his beloved Midgard to get revenge. "Shall I go retrieve him?"

Odin was thoughtfully silent for a moment. "No." He said at last. Thor opened his mouth to protest, but Odin stopped him. "I have a better idea."

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"KNEEEEEEEEEEEEEL!" Loki screamed at the terror-stricken people. They slowly kneeled, cautiously watching him to see what his next move would be. Loki smirked.

"Is not this simple?" He questioned mockingly, "Is this not your natural sta-"

"LOKI BARTHOLOMEW ODINSON!" (first horrible name that I thought of)

What little color that was in his face drained at the sound of that voice. He gulped as he slowly turned around to see Frigga, briskly heading towards him with fire in her eyes.

"M-mother-," He stammered.

"What do you think you're doing?" She demanded, but didn't wait for an answer. "You apologize to these nice people this instant."

"But mooooom..." he whined, his shoulders slumping.

"No buts," Frigga said sternly, crossing her arms and tapped her foot impatiently. "This instant."

Sighing, Loki faced the crowd and murmured something unintelligible.

"A little louder please," Frigga prompted.

Loki huffed and yelled. "I said, I'M SORRY I TRIED TO TAKE OVER YOUR PATHETIC PRIMITIVE EXCUSE FOR A WORLD - Ouch!" The god of mischief yelped as Frigga grabbed his ear and began dragging him away.

"Close enough," she sighed. "We're going home."

The Avengers had just arrived to the scene and found it under control, much to their surprise. Frigga made Loki apologize to each of them, especially Hawkeye. He complied, but begrudgingly so, with a lot of grumbling and whining involved. The Heroes didn't even attempt to hold back their gins as Loki stooped down lower and lower in an attempt to relieve some of the pressure on his ear.

"Go Mama Frigga," Natasha whispered to Clint.

Frigga lectured the trickster all the way back to Asgard.

"And as for you, young man, you are grounded for a century." Frigga finally finished. Loki protested and complained furiously until she threatened to make two centuries.

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 **If mama ain't happy, ain't nobody happy. But seriously though, why didn't Odin just send Frigga to deal with Loki? She could have handled it in a snap! Anyway, please remember to follow, favorite, and review!**

 **Xoxo,**

 **-Raven**


	17. Something Just Like This

**Hi everyone! This is the 7th and last chapter in the BLACK PANTHER COUNTDOWN! I can't believe that we are already done and that the movie is coming out today! I'm so excited to go see it! And just so y'all know I won't be posting for about a week or two because I will be on vacation for mid-winter break so I hope this will hold out your hunger for awhile! Here is a parody for you. This chapter parody was requested by Bella(guest) and Bella, in the reviews can you give me the scenario for Clint to sing There's Nothing Holding Me Back? Thanks! I just need a scenario in order to write the chapter. Anyways the song is I Want Something Just Like this by Coldplay and The Chainsmokers. Again, it's just a parody and not a story. Let's get this chapter going!**

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 _I've been reading comics of old_

 _Each issue after the next_

 _Hawkeye with his bow_

 _Dr. Banner and his gift_

 _Spiderman's webs_

 _And Thor with his hammer_

 _And clearly I don't see myself upon that list_

 _And I said I wanna be a hero_

 _I want to take the risk_

 _I wanna be somebody with some super human gifts_

 _Some superhero_

 _Some savior of the world_

 _Somebody you can count on_

 _Some one who'll never miss_

 _I wanna be a hero just like them_

 _Doo-doo-doo, doo-doo-doo_

 _Doo-doo-doo, doo-doo-doo_

 _Doo-doo-doo, doo-doo-doo_

 _Oh, I wanna be a hero just like them_

 _Doo-doo-doo, doo-doo-doo_

 _Doo-doo-doo, doo-doo-doo_

 _Doo-doo-doo, doo-doo-doo_

 _Oh, I wanna be a hero just like them_

 _I wanna be a hero just like them_

 _I've been reading comics of old_

 _Each issue after the next_

 _The Captain's very bold_

 _Black Widow does her flips_

 _Tony Stark puts on_

 _A suit before he lifts_

 _But I'm not the kind of person that it fits_

 _And I said I wanna be a hero_

 _I want to take the risk I wanna be somebody with some superhero gifts_

 _Some superhero_

 _Some savior of the world_

 _Somebody you can count on_

 _Someone who'll never miss_

 _I want something just like this_

 _I want something just like this_

 _I want something just like this_

 _Doo-doo-doo, doo-doo-doo_

 _Doo-doo-doo, doo-doo-doo_

 _Doo-doo-doo, doo-doo-doo_

 _Oh, I want something just like this_

 _Doo-doo-doo, doo-doo-doo_

 _Doo-doo-doo, doo-doo-doo_

 _Doo-doo-doo, doo-doo-doo_

 _And I said I wanna be a hero_

 _I want to take the risk I wanna be somebody with some superhero gifts_

 _Some superhero_

 _Some savior of the world_

 _Somebody you can count on_

 _Someone who'll never miss_

 _I want something just like this_

 _Oh, I want something just like this_

 _Oh, I want something just like this_

 _Oh, I want something just like this_

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 **Yay! I think this is a good parody if I do say so myself! And I do say that so yeah! I'll stop now. I love this parody because I feel like it relates to me because when I was younger my big dream was to have powers and to be a superhero. I still want to, it's just that I know it can't happen. Remember requests for songs to parody are always welcome but if you could please give me a scenario to go along with the song that would be awesome! For this one I thought that it would be good if it didn't have a scenario so I might change it but a scenario would be great! Also headcannon requests are welcome also! I hope you enjoyed the BLACK PANTHER COUNTDOWN! And I hope you enjoy the movie! Love you all!**

 **Xoxo,**

 **-Raven**


	18. Laser Tag

**Hello! How are you all? Okay so I saw Black Panther a few weeks ago and I have to say that… IT IS ONE OF THE GREATEST FRICKING MOVIES I HAVE SEEN IN MY ENTIRE LIFE! You must see it! But you need to stay till after the end credits because there are 2 teasers and the second one is awesome! So with that out of the way I am so sorry for the long wait. And I know it might be a little bit early but… Infinity War countdown? Maybe? Idk, let me know what you think!**

 **Thank you to jilly shiper and kydh10 for following this story!**

 **Today I have written for you BUM BUM BUM! The Avengers playing laser tag! Enjoy!**

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"Alright guys!" Tony said enthusiastically, rubbing his hands together. "I have a surprise for you all! Well," he paused, "Everyone we have left." He was refereeing to the fact that they were low on numbers. Thor had some royal business to attend to on Asgard, and Bruce had to do some scientific research.

The Avengers sitting around the table – Steve, Clint, Natasha, Sam, Wanda, Rhodey and Bucky- either groaned or looked at him skeptically.

"Oh c'mon you guys it's not the same as last time!" He whined. For Tony's last 'surprise' they had been blindfolded and led into a room that had dumped glue on them and covered them in feathers. Tony had managed to snap a picture and they were the laughing stock of New York for weeks. Everyone shuddered as they thought back on it.

"Fine Tony." Steve said sighing.

"And no blindfolds!" Clint warned, jumping in.

"Alright Legolas." Tony grumbled. "I'll just put a cloth over it. Gimme a sec." He dashed from the room and returned a moment later. "Follow me!" He called, waving his hand. They walked out of the kitchen with Tony in the lead. "And here!" Tony held out his hands to get them to stop. They were standing in front of a doorway with a red cloth over the entrance. Tony dashed up beside the doorway, striking the Will Smith pose. **(search it up and go to images)**

"I present to you, the place where team building begins, where we can learn to work together as a team and improve our endurance. Where focus improves. We can learn to—,"

"Get on with it Tony!" Natasha barked.

"You guys take all the fun out of everything." He grumbled to himself. "Fine then, I present to you the new Avengers laser tag room ." He said in a bored voice, pulling the string that would lower the curtain.

The Avengers gaped in shock at the sight in front of them. It was a giant room decorated as the classic arcade laser tag room. Giant neon obstacles and crevices littered the landscape while a black carpet with swirly neon designs glowed in the semi darkness.

"Why Tony," Rhodey said rubbing his hand over his eyes. Tony shrugged grinning.

"For fun!" Rhodey merely rolled his eyes but said nothing else.

"Alright no more questions? Good!" Tony said as he led to the center of the room, where on the floor were eight opaque colored laser tag guns.

"Tony, what are these?" Natasha asked exasperatedly.

"Duh! They're laser tag guns!"

"Yes, I get that but why? We are adults Tony."

"Actually we are adults." Clint put in, gesturing to everyone except Tony. "You are a man-child."

"Point taken. Buuuuuut, I thought we could have a little fun! A break from all of the tenseness of saving the world!" Tony said.

"I can see that there's no arguing with you on this," Steve sighed.

"Yup!"

"Then fine."

"Yay!" Tony squealed. Natasha rolled her eyes. "Okay, so Steve and I will be team captains. You first."

"Bucky." Steve said pointing to Bucky. Bucky stuck out his tongue at Sam since he got picked first by Steve.

"Clint." Tony grinned wickedly to himself. Clint would be a good teammate to have in this game because of his perfect aim.

"Natasha."

"Rhodey."

"Sam."

"Wanda." Tony turned and smiled, satisfied at his choice of teammates. "So, We'll be team red and you can be team blue. Everyone grab a gun!"

There was a mad scramble as everyone rushed to get their favorite color gun. Steve got blue, Wanda got red, Natasha got black, Clint got purple, Tony got yellow (he had pouted as Wanda stood triumphantly holding the red gun), Rhodey got white, Sam got green, and Bucky got grey.

"So here are the rules. Your gun is equipped with a sensor, so if your gun gets hit by a laser it will deactivate for 30 seconds. Every time you hit someone it you get one point, and whichever team gets the most points wins. No using your powers," he looked pointedly at Wanda who shrugged. "Or physical contact. Oh! And you have to wear these so people know which team you're on." He handed his team bright red vests while Steve's team got bright blue ones. "It's going to be pitch black, aside from the neon things. We will play for 10 minutes, any questions? Good. Everyone scatter!." Everybody scrambled to hide. "The game will begin in 3… 2… 1…." As soon as he finished the lights turned off and they were plunged into semi darkness.

And so the game had begun.

It had started out relatively okay at first, but then things started to get intense. At some point Clint had climbed up to the raptors and was now sniping people from a perch that no one could see.

"Clint! That's cheating!" Sam complained to the ceiling as he got hit. Clint cackled silently to himself, already picking out his next target.

Rhodey kept running into Tony who ran off laughing as he shot him anyway. Rhodey just shook his head, because when you've been friends with Tony for awhile, you get kinda used to his crap.

Wanda kept going after Steve every chance she got, using her powers to find him (shh! Don't tell anyone) because why not?

Sam "accidentally" shot Bucky the one time that he actually found him.

"Sam! We're on the Sam team!" He would shout before slipping back into the shadows, letting Sam deal with whoever heard their shouting and had come to take them down.

For the most part, no one knew where the two assassins were. Only the fact that they had the two highest scores. With Bucky being just a little bit behind Nat and Clint in third.

Steve was creeping through the course when a voice behind him startled him.

"Hey Steve!" Said Natasha as she materialized behind him. He jumped with a gasp almost dropping his gun. Nat held up a finger to her lips before melting back into the shadows with the disembodied words " Look up," following her. Steve turned his head up, a grin breaking out on his face. He could faintly see Natasha creeping up behind a very well concealed Clint. A shriek floated across the room, causing everyone to stop in surprise.

Steve had seen Natasha shoot Clint, causing him to fall in shock. He landed in a crumpled heap at his feet, with Nat landing gracefully behind him as the buzzer beeped to signify the end of the game.

The Avengers gathered around the screen in the front of the room to see the scores. Tony threw down his gun in frustration when he found out that Steve's team had won (with a lot of help from Bucky and Nat, Steve had pointed out). The scores in general were Natasha in first place with 106 points, Bucky in second with 99 points, Clint in third with 85 points, Steve in fourth with 78 points, Rhodey in fifth with 70 points, Sam in sixth with 63 points that ended in him high-fiving Steve and Rhodey talking about military training and calling themselves the military bros. In seventh place was Tony with 54 points, and Wanda in eighth with 42. Which was pretty good considering she had never played the game before.

"Well I have to admit Tony," Rhodey said as they were heading back to their rooms. "That was a pretty good idea."

"Wow I feel so flattered that you just now believe in m—," he was interrupted by a faint 'whizz' followed by a 'ping'. He turned to look over at Rhodey, who had a fake arrow stuck to his forehead.

Tony burst out laughing. "You look hilar—," he was interrupted again by something thunking into his forehead. He heard snickering from above him and yelled, " Clint! Get your ass down here I have a few choice words for you!"

"Never!" Clint challenged.

"Fine then, I guess I'll have to call Natasha."

"You wouldn't!" Came the shocked reply.

"Try me! Oh Nata—," he started to sing but was interrupted by a frantic cry.

"No, no! Please! I'll get down!" Followed by a frantic scrambling of feet and a thud as Clint landed with a thunk. He stood up to dust himself off, only to find two fake arrows pointed at him. Wielded by two people with very maniacal grins on their faces.

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 **That was so fun to write! OH MY GOD! The new Infinity War trailer that came out last week was epic! I've already bought my tickets! Speaking of Infinity War… what do y'all think about an… Infinity War countdown? *nudge nudge wink wink ;)* let me know in the reviews! I hope you enjoyed this chapter, and I value all of your opinions so let me know if this was good. Requests are always welcome and as always, remember to follow favorite and review!**

 **Xoxo,**

 **CloveRaven4**


	19. Ice Bucket Challenge

**Hey guys! I'm back with another chapter! And the wait wasn't as long! So I was bored so I was like hey! Why don't I write another chapter! So here I am. I just wanted to say thank you to SaltyCandy for all the nice reviews!**

 **Thank you to HarmonyCleopatra for favoriting and following this story, and jily shiper for following this story!**

 **So let's get to this chapter! I present to you, the Avengers doing the ice bucket challenge!**

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"Naaaat," Clint whined. "Do I have to?"

"Yes, because I nominated you, and it's for a good cause." she explained while mounting a camera on its stand.

"But you didn't even do it!"

"Do you really think someone would want to risk pouring water on my head?"

"No," Clint grumbled. Why can't I have the fear factor that Nat has? He asked himself.

"So sit and stop complaining," Nat scolded. So there Clint sat, getting ready to do the ice bucket challenge. Nat looked up to stare at Tony who was hovering above them with a bucket of water. He had nominated himself to be the official person to dump the water on his teammates "You ready Tony?" She asked.

"Yup!" He responded cheerfully. Clint glared up at him.

"Alright Clint go!" She pressed play on the camera.

"I'm Clint Barton," he began sullenly.

"More energy Clint," Natasha said.

"I'm Clint Barton!" He plastered a smile on his face. "And I have been nominated by Natasha Romanoff to participate in the Ice Bucket Challenge, and I nominate Thor, Sam, and Bucky."

"Okay Tony in 3… 2… 1…," Nat called. Tony tipped the bucket over and the contents splashed down on Clint.

"JESUS CHRIST THAT IS SO FUCKING COLD!" Clint shouted jumping out of his chair.

"How do you feel Clint?" Nat asked jokingly. Clint glared at her, teeth chattering.

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"Why must I do this?" Thor asked as he sat down in the cold metallic chair. Instead of his godly regal armor, he was wearing a normal shirt and pants. Bruce searched his phone for the video camera app.

"Because Clint challenged you," he said. "It's for charity."

"Oh, I see," Thor said, but he still looked confused.

"You ready, Tony?" Bruce called up to the sky, shading his eyes from the sun. Tony was flying above the thunderer, with a massive barrel, of ice water. It was going to take large amount of the stuff to affect the god of thunder.

"Any day now!" Tony called. "This isn't getting any lighter."

Bruce aimed his phone at Thor and pressed the record button. "Alright, big guy, you're on."

"Greetings mortals!" Thor nearly shouted. "I am Thor Odinson and I have been nominated by my friend Clint Barton to participate in the Cold-Bucked-Of-Ice–Water-Dumped-On-Your-Head Challenge for Charity."

Bruce motioned with his hand for Thor to continue. "And….."

Thor thought for a moment. "And….. what?"

"You get to challenge any three people you want. As long as they haven't already done it," Bruce said.

Thor smiled. "Wonderful! In that case, I challenge Heimdall, Erik Selvig, and the Man of Iron!"

"Oh come on!" Tony protested from the sky.

Bruce snickered. "Alright, countdown. Three… Two… One!"

Tony tipped the barrel, sending the mini waterfall down on Thor.

"BY ODIN'S BEARD! THAT IS FRIGID!" Thor yelled leaping up when the torrent had ceased, jumping around in an attempt to warm himself.

Bruce leapt backward in order to keep the phone dry as Thor shook is long, blond locks like a dog yelling, "I AM NEVER DOING THAT AGAIN!"

"Hey Thor, do you want to go grab Tony so he can do his turn?" Bruce asked innocently.

"Verily!" Thor said grinning, summoning his hammer.

"C"mon Bruce!" Tony shouted as he flew away.

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 **So I don't know what that was, but it was fun, I think. Let me know! Okay people we have less than a month till Infinity War and I am freaking out! On another note, happy early Easter if you celebrate it, if you don't, happy April Fools Day! I hope you enjoyed this chapter! Please remember to follow, favorite, and review!**

 **Xoxo,**

 **CloveRaven4**


	20. Where Is My Iron Man Suit!

**OH MY GOD YOU GUYS! INFINITY WAR COMES OUT IN A WEEK AND IM FREAKING OUT! WHO'S WITH ME? The moment is finally here, the start of the… INFINITY WAR COUNTDOWN! I'm so excited for this movie though! Okay, back to business. A new chapter yay!**

 **Thank you to VRiot237 for favoriting and following this story!**

 **And in response to SaltyCandy, I have a chapter coming up later in this story that might answer your question about Sam and Bucky are like when Steve's not around ;)**

 **Back to the present! I hope you guys like this chapter. Oh! And this countdown might not be accurate for you. This countdown is based off of when the movie comes out in the United States.**

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Tony lay quietly on the couch, sipping a glass of scotch and tinkering with something as he watched TV. Suddenly a plume of fire rose up out of one of the streets closest to the tower accompanied by a loud "BOOM". This was followed by smaller explosions snaking their way up streets. Military helicopters zoomed by the tower making the walls shake a little bit. Tony jumped up from the couch and ran down to his lab where his suit lay in waiting. Except it wasn't.

"PEPPER!" He called racing upstairs.

"What!" She called back.

"Where is my Iron Man suit!" He began searching through his room, in all the hidden compartments and hiding places.

"What!"

"Where is my Iron Man suit!"

"I uh… put it away!" A helicopter exploded outside and the sound of gunfire could be heard. Tony was now frantically running around the tower looking for anything that he had stored a suit in.

"WHERE?"

"Why do you need to know?"

"I NEED IT!"

"Uh-uh! Don't you think about running off doing no hero stuff. We've been planning this dinner for two months!" Pepper sounded irritated now.

"THE PUBLIC IS ENDANGER!" Tony shouted starting to get angry. Innocent people were probably dying because his girlfriend wouldn't tell him where his suit was.

"MY EVENING IS IN DANGER!" she shouted back with as much venom as he did.

"You tell me where my suit is women! We're talking about the greater good!"

"GREATER GOOD?! I am your girlfriend! I'm the greatest good your ever gonna get!" Tony signed in frustration. But then his phone rang.

"Hey, Tony" Cap greeted him on the other end of the line "Clint, Nat, and I have it all wrapped up here."

"Cool thanks Cap," Tony replied before hanging up.

"Never-mind!" He called to Pepper.

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 **So that was fun! Honestly, I had no clue what I was doing there, it just happened. Let me know what you think! Please remember to follow, favorite, and review!**

 **Xoxo,**

 **-Raven**


	21. One Beautiful Family

**Hey guys! So I really don't have much to say about this chapter except it was fun to write and also that it's the second chapter in the INFINITY WAR COUNTDOWN! So I hope you enjoy this chapter! I'm sorry that this chapter is short, but most headcannons are short. I try to extend them for as long as I can, but I can only do so much so yeah! Oh! And also that this takes place on the ship that all of the Asguardians are on after Ragnarok and I'm going to pretend that there's a common room of sorts on the ship**

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"So about the Revengers…," Heimdall started as he and Thor walked through the many mazes of hallways on the ship.

"Yes," Thor jumped in before he could finish. "I love the team that we've put together. It's like a little family that we've built all on our own where we rely on each other and help each other out whenever we need it the most." He said with conviction. As they neared the common room where they would meet up with the rest of the team, they could hear a commotion going on inside.

"LOKI I SWEAR TO VALHALLA IF YOU PULL MY HAIR ONE MORE TIME I WILL SHOVE THIS BOTTLE DOWN YOUR THROAT!" Valkyrie's voice was easily recognizable as she was the one yelling. Loki's mocking voice followed.

"I'd like to see you try." They had reached the common room just in time to hear Valkyrie yell,

"GOODDAMMIT!" before starting a fistfight with Loki.

It only got worse from there as Bruce hulked out.

"HULK SMASH TOO," he grumbled out as he also, joined the fight. Heimdall looked over at Thor skeptically with both eyebrows raised and the hint of a smile on his face. Thor smiled tightly and grimaced.

"One… beautiful family…," he said loudly over the sounds of breaking glass, cursing, and the Hulk's roars.

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 **Ah the Revengers. One big happy family. So what did you think? I hope you still liked it even though it was short. More chapters will be like that from now on because like I said at the beginning, most headcannons are shorter so yeah. I could do the headcannon mashup thing, but I didn't really like that so I'm just sticking with this. Please remember to follow, favorite, and review!**

 **Xoxo,**

 **-Raven**


	22. The Swear Jar

**Sup peeps! Another day, another chapter in this INFINITY WAR COUNTDOWN! So this is a fun one! I've been waiting to do this one and I have decided that the time is right so here we are! I hope you enjoy this chapter! And sorry that this is short but as I said before most headcannons are short so yeah. And in response to guest: yes I will, I'm so sorry that I haven't done it yet but I already had all of those chapters planned out. But I was going back through the reviews about a week ago and I am working on it. It will be the first chapter after I finish this countdown, I promise. And I'm so sorry for the delay!**

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"Shit!" Tony exclaimed as he dropped his piece of toast on the floor. Butter side down. **(*GASP*)** not a minute later Steve waltzed into the kitchen with that accursed jar of his.

"You know the drill, Tony," Steve said smiling. Tony sighed, then dropped a dollar in the jar.

"Thank you!" Steve said, smiling cheerily as he left the kitchen. After a while of living in the tour, Steve had decided to start a swear jar. The especially bad ones **(you know which ones I'm talking about)** cost two dollars, while the mediocre ones were only a dollar. Tony had 'donated' the most money so far which Sam had said wasn't a problem since he was a billionaire. Clint was close behind him in second, and Sam in third. Steve even went as far as to enlist JARVIS to catch anyone who swore when he wasn't around. Steve always seemed to have the jar on him – minus battles – and Steve has a memory like a steel trap. So if by chance that he didn't have the jar on him, he would remember what you said and how much you owed.

This had been going on for months and so far Tony had lost around a hundred dollars while Clint had lost eighty six.

When Bucky started coming around, he noticed that Steve didn't swear in front of the Avengers.

"What gives?" He whispered as he pulled Steve aside one day. "You have the worst mouth of anyone I know."

"They made assumptions Buck," he said with a perfectly innocent expression. "I think those assumptions should at least buy me a new bike, don't you?" Bucky stared at him open-mouthed in awe.

"I forgot how fucking devious you are." Steve grinned at him and wordlessly held up the jar.

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 **Ahh Steve, the all American boy, can be a real piece of work sometimes! Let me know what you thought of this chapter and please remember to follow, favorite, and review!**

 **Xoxo,**

 **-Raven**


	23. Deadpool Strikes Again

**Hello! I have a new chapter in the INFINITY WAR COUNTDOWN for y'all! This is just a weird little thing that I like (but how is that different from any of the headcannons that I use?) and here it is! I hope you enjoy it!**

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"That was so fun!" Clint exclaimed as the Avengers arrived back at the tower. They had just returned from a well deserved day off in the city. "I wish we could have day offs every day!"

"Then it wouldn't be a day off genius," Natasha pointed out. "It would be a year off." Clint opened his mouth to make a sharp retort but JARVIS interrupted him.

"Sir," he started. "While you were out, someone broke into the tower."

"Who?" Tony asked.

"I don't know sir," JARVIS admitted. "They were unidentifiable, but they are no longer in the tower."

"Bring up the security footage."

"Yes, sir." A holographic screen appeared before the group and the footage began to play. The Avengers were startled to find that it was just twenty-four minutes of Deadpool singing Fergilicious while making an inhuman amount of pancakes. At the end of the video, he loaded all of the pancakes into boxes and put those boxes in a big red wagon and left.

"What the fuck?" Clint asked, looking at everyone's confused faces.

"Is that all J?" Tony questioned.

"That is all, sir. They did not appear on any more security footage."

"Alright Avengers," Steve said in his 'I'm-Captain-America-so-listen-to-me' voice. "Let's split up and search the tower for anything that Deadpool may have did or left behind."

After about fifteen minutes of searching the team heard a voice in the earpieces that they had been given.

"Friends," Thor boomed into their ears. "I have found something most interesting in the common room that I think you would very much like to see." The Avengers raced up to their 'hangout floor". As Tony had dubbed it. What they saw stunned them into silence. All of the furniture on that floor was covered in pancakes.

Tony sighed. They had a lot of cleaning ahead of them.

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 **So what did you think? This is definitely a weird chapter but I felt like it had to be done.**

 **Please remember to follow, favorite, and review!**

 **Xoxo,**

 **-Raven**


	24. Avengers Texts Part 3

**Welcome to the 5th chapter in the INFINITY WAR COUNTDOWN! In order to celebrate that we only have 2 days left until the movie I've decided to do a… AVENGERS TEXTING PART 3! Featuring Clint Barton as the main texter! I hope you enjoy!**

 **And thank you to YesiSnow for following this story!**

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 **Natasha:** Just so we're clear, when I say "I'm thirsty", I want a water bottle. Not for you to shoot an arrow that SOMEHOW explodes gallons of water everywhere.

 **Clint:** … but you were thirsty.

 **Natasha:** 3 drops of water at most, is what got in my mouth.

 **Clint:** I bet it was refreshing though.

 **Natasha:** Why the hell do you have an exploding water arrow anyway?

 **Clint:** In case we fight fire monsters. Duh!

 **Natasha:** That's the dumbest thing I've ever heard come from your mouth. And that's saying something.

 **Clint:** That's not what you'll be saying when the fire monsters show up.

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 **Clint:** If you were a skeleton, would you be Bony Stark?

 **Tony:** Don't start this again.

 **Clint:** If you would a car, would you be Iron Van?

 **Tony:** Shut up.

 **Clint:** If you were a small horse, would you be Pony Stark?

 **Tony:** These are terrible.

 **Clint:** If you were a lady, would you be Iron Ma'm?

 **Clint:** If you were a sandwich, would you be Baloney Stark?

 **Clint:** If you were a sea creature, would you be Iron Clam?

 **Tony:** Are you done?

 **Clint:** I'm just getting Starkted.

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 **Clint:** I'm taking a little time away from the team. I'll be back in a month.

 **Steve:** Why are you going?

 **Clint:** I lay low whenever a new Hunger Games comes out. It's only a matter of time until a villain uses a Hunger Games type plot against me.

 **Steve:** So you're not just leaving so we won't call you Katniss anymore?

 **Clint:** I was eating pita bread with hummus ONE TIME and I said "I love pita." I meant the bread and you all know it!

 **Steve:** So that's a yes.

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 **Thor** : MAN OF IRON. THERE WILL BE A BURST OF CLOUDS LATER THIS EVENING. I WISH FOR A BOX OF FIRE TWIGS SO THAT I MAY EMULATE THE ONE CALLED ADELE.

 **Tony:** No.

 **Thor:** I DO NOT UNDERSTAND.

 **Tony:** No, I'm not giving you a box of matches so you can set fire to the rain.

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 **Ultron:** I'm planning to cleanse the Earth of all humans and could use an Infinity Stone.

 **Thanos:** I'd love to help but I don't have any. Loki never gave his back, then I sent Ronan to get one, but he kept it.

 **Ultron:** You gave your Infinity Stones to the most untrustworthy people you know?

 **Thanos:** Yeah, I'm not a great judge of character. Also, both of my daughters betrayed me.

 **Ultron:** So you have negative one Infinity Stones and zero henchpeople? (I know that Thanos still has the outriders and the Black Order but this is just how the headcannon went) Why are people even afraid of you?

 **Thanos:** I have no idea. All I do is sit in a big floaty chair and get betrayed.

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 **That was fun! Clint is such an interesting soul. I hope you liked this chapter! Please remember to follow, favorite, and review!**

 **Xoxo,**

 **-Raven**


	25. Riled Up and Patriotic

**OH MY GOD! INFINITY WAR COMES OUT TOMORROW! IM SERIOUSLY FREAKING OUT! Which brings us to the 6th chapter in this INFINITY WAR COUNTDOWN! This is a fun chapter, I think. I hope you like it! And I'm sorry if any of the political stuff offends you, it's just my opinion. It's not meant to offend anyone.**

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The Avengers were all seated on the couch watching the election.

"And the new president of the United States is Donald Trump!" The news person announced.

"That orange cheeto!" Clint exclaimed, falling off the bookshelf where he had been perched in surprise. Sam snorted his soda up his nose at Clint's remark, and about the fact that he was currently spread-eagled on the floor.

"I know," Steve said nodding in agreement. "It's a shame that people voted for him." Tony turned his head towards Bruce and looked at him pointedly. Bruce sighed as he pulled out his phone and clicked on the stopwatch app. Tony then turned forwards again and made sure that everyone but Steve could see him as he winked, smirking.

"Oh yeah, I don't vote," Tony said casually. Steve trailed off mid-sentence. His head turned slowly to look at Tony, his face slack with shock.

"What!?" Steve said in disbelief.

"I mean, it does it really make a difference? One vote among millions won't change anything." The Avengers grinned in amusement as they watched Steve swell with anger. Steve then started lecturing Tony about the importance of democratic process and how dangerous it can be if citizens give up their say about how the government is run. Tony was trying desperately to keep a straight face, which made the group snicker into their hands. Bruce was watching the clock, hand poised for the moment the rant stopped.

The team had started this game where they try to push Steve's buttons and get him all riled up and patriotic. Whoever gets the longest rant gets a small little trophy that Tony made. Hence the reason for Bruce timing. By the time Steve finished his rant Sam and Clint were asleep, Tony was zoning out, Natasha still in the exact same pose, and Bruce was trying desperately to not fall asleep.

"Well thank you Steve, for that… interesting lecture," Tony said yawning as he stood up. "I think I'm going to go to bed." As Tony walked out he passed Bruce and whispered to him, "Time?"

"8 minutes and 47 seconds," Bruce replied. "Sorry Tony." Tony sighed. Still not enough, he thought. I'll have to think of something better to get that trophy.

The current holder of the trophy was Clint, with a record of 15 minutes and twelve seconds. He somehow managed to convince Steve that he didn't pay his taxes.

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 **Ah, Good ol' Steve. Why does Clint always win at everything? Anyways I hope you enjoyed this chapter and please remember to follow, favorite, and review!**

 **Xoxo,**

 **-Raven**


	26. The Adventures of Shuri and Peter Part 1

**INFINITY WAR COMES OUT TODAY! ALSKDJFHG! And that means that this is the last chapter in the INFINITY WAR COUNTDOWN! I'm going to die when I see this movie, I swear. So about this chapter, I love the idea of Shuri and Peter meeting each other and all of the shenanigans that they get up to! This is one of the many headcannons that I have about them so there will definitely be more to come! I hope you enjoy!**

 **And thank you to TopazFireCrystal for following this story!**

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"Hey Shuri," Peter said as they were working on improvements to his suit. "Do you want to watch a movie in the screening room?" Shuri and T'Challa were visiting the compound from Wakanda because he and Tony needed to work out a new draft for the accords. Shuri had just decided to tag along so she could scoff at the 'primitive' technology.

"Okay," she put down the tools she was working with and followed him towards the mini theater.

"What should we watch?" She asked as Peter got down on his knees and started skimming over the shelves of DVDs.

"Is Empire Strikes Back ok?"

"Sure. I've only seen the first two." Peter then picked up the DVD, walked over to the projecter and started the movie.

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"Hey, you should make real-life Star Wars tech," Peter jokingly said to Shuri when they were about halfway through the movie.

"Could you pause the movie? I'll be right back," she walked out of the room and returned about five minutes later. She then pulled out two functioning lightsabers. "I made these when I was 10!"

"W-what!?" Peter exclaimed in shock as Shuri handed him a lightsaber.

"Well are you just going to sit there all day or are we gonna have some fun!" Peter grinned and they ran off to cause some destruction.

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Sir, there is a disturbance in the common room," FRIDAY said.

"What is it?" Tony asked.

"Shuri and Mr. Parker are playing with what appears to be lightsabers."

"No way!" Tony stood up from his workbench and ran from his lab. He met T'Challa on the way and told him what was happening. When they arrived in the common room they were met with a shocking sight, at least for Tony. The two teenagers were running around fighting with the lightsabers, burning the couches and cutting vases and tables in half.

"Shuri!" T'Challa yelled. "I thought I told you to leave those at home!"

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 **Oh the mischief that these two get into. I hope you enjoyed this chapter and please remember to follow, favorite, and review!**

 **Xoxo,**

 **-Raven**


	27. You Are the Avengers!

**Hey guys! I am sooooo soooo sorry for the hiatus! It was totally unplanned and I apologize! I don't really have an excuse besides I didn't really feel like writing so I'm just gonna stop there. On a different subject, this story is going to be going through some major construction soon. From now on this story will just be headcannons, because I'm just not feeling the parody's. But I will keep the ones from earlier, and I may occasionally write some if inspiration strikes. Oh and shameless self-promo: go follow and message me on tumblr, which is wakandaforeverpanther! (No exclamation point is in the name, just making sure). This chapter took me awhile to write actually because I was listening to BTS' Idol while I was writing this and kept getting distracted! Sorry for this I know pain from Peter's "death" might still be fresh but I really wanted to do this. Credits to marvel-lous-things on tumblr. Enjoy! Again so sorry for the long break! And also sorry that this is so short but I hope to post another chapter soon!**

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Tony—a tired dadTM—was trying his best. He really was. But after an hour of trying (extra emphasis on trying) to train Peter to be an Avenger, he had almost reached his limit. Sure the constant internet references were annoying, but _this_ was downright painful. He had been asking Peter scenario questions and the answers were a sight to behold. Some of his "favorites" were,

Tony: "Someone is robbing a tech company."

Peter: "Ask them politely to stop and if they don't, yeet them out the window."

Tony: "A villain is causing destruction and it's hurting citizens."

Peter: "Scream at them until they cry and feel bad and stop hurting people."

Tony: "You're fighting and one of us goes down"

Peter: "Sing 'mm whatcha say.'"

Tony sighed. He was trying.

"Okay Pete, lets try this again," he began. "Collapsing building, simultaneous alien attack. What do you do?"

Peter bis lip, bouncing on his toes. "Ummmmmmmmmmm," he paused. His face suddenly lit up like a Christmas tree. "You call the Aven—,"

"You are the Avengers!" Tony yelled, pinching the bridge of his nose. "You know what, I think we're done for today."

"Okay Mr. Stark!" Peter said smiling, running out of the room. He then preceded to trip over his feet and fall on his face. He flushed bright red, and mumbled something before speeding away. Tony smiled and chuckled under his breath.

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 **I hope you enjoyed! Again I'm so sorry for the wait! Also again, find me on tumblr wakandaforeverpanther! I just realized that we're nearing the one year mark! Wow! Be prepared for a speech! Thank you so much for reading and please remember to follow, favorite, and review! Also feel free to send requests and to message me if you have questions or just want to say hi!**

 **Xoxo,**

 **Raven**


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